Random Stupidity

Even More Stupid Pictures

2011-03-27T09:40:00.001-07:00

Robot (TeztigoMix_Part 02)

2011-01-26T07:58:00.000-08:00

One part Matrix, one part Terminator, two parts communists...

PC

Sanchez Wipes Booger on Brunell

2011-01-26T07:57:00.000-08:00

SANCHEZ WIPES HIS BOOGER ON QB MARK BRUNELL !
STEELERS VS. JETS 2011 AFC

PC

Major Crimes? Shiiiit.

2011-01-26T07:55:00.000-08:00

Sarah Palin Battle Hymn

2011-01-26T07:53:00.000-08:00

Jebus,

PC

The Best MMA Knockout Ever!!!!

2011-01-26T07:52:00.000-08:00

The Trashmaster

2011-01-26T07:48:00.000-08:00

Full length feature film done entirely with GTA IV

The trashmaster (nouvelle version nouvelle voix-off !)
Uploaded by murakawa. - Watch game reviews, trailers, and walkthrough videos.

I love me some Niko Bellic...

PC

Worst Choir Ever

2011-01-26T07:47:00.000-08:00

Top Charming Breast Stimulator

2011-01-26T07:45:00.000-08:00

What a high quality product and advertisement...

PC

New York City Tow Truck Pulverizes SUV

2011-01-26T07:43:00.000-08:00

Retarded New York City Tow truck pulverizes SUV after Blizzard with hilarious commentary

PC

Lego Black Ops

2011-01-26T07:37:00.001-08:00

Metrodome Roof Collapses

2011-01-26T07:35:00.000-08:00

Infrastructure rebuild needed?

PC

Bootygate

2011-01-26T07:30:00.000-08:00

Regis Pats Nicki Minaj Near Her Ass and Tells Her a Dirty Joke

PC

a boy in watermelon

2011-01-26T07:29:00.000-08:00

Sliding Cars in Seattle Snow on 11/22/10

2011-01-26T07:25:00.000-08:00

Maru and the Giant Box!

2011-01-26T07:23:00.000-08:00

More Stupid Pictures

2010-12-23T08:44:00.000-08:00

In honor of Festivus, I thought I would drop another mega post of pictures on dat azz... Enjoy!

PC

PIXELS by Patrick Jean

2010-11-09T08:48:00.000-08:00

PIXELS by PATRICK JEAN.
Uploaded by onemoreprod. - Discover more animation and arts videos.
This is plain old awesome.

PC

Yoshi Hates Mario!

2010-11-09T08:46:00.001-08:00

Awesome...

PC

People Are Awesome!

2010-11-09T08:44:00.001-08:00

That was definitely impressive.

PC

Beat It + China Red Army

2010-11-09T08:40:00.000-08:00

I am working off the grid!!!

2010-11-09T08:37:00.000-08:00

Don't ever underestimate me!

PC

Dying Girl, 7, Taunted by Neighbors

2010-11-09T08:09:00.000-08:00

Leprechaun in Mobile, Alabama

2010-11-09T08:05:00.000-08:00

Hip Hop Remix

Now That is Random Stupidity!

PC

Arnold Schwarzenegger - Do it!

2010-11-09T08:00:00.000-08:00

DO IT!

PC

God of War Movie Trailer

2010-11-09T07:55:00.000-08:00

Awesome-O

PC

Target of alleged murder for hire plot talks about ex-wife

2010-11-09T07:52:00.000-08:00

Axis of Awesome - 4 Four Chord Song

2010-11-09T07:47:00.000-08:00

Awesome?

PC

Insane Clown Posse - Miracles

2010-11-09T07:44:00.000-08:00

Yes, bring on the stupid...

PC

Bud Light Ad - The Porno Guy

2010-11-09T07:38:00.000-08:00

Definitely Stupid,

PC

Fox Sees Muslim Images in Nuke Logo

2010-11-09T07:35:00.000-08:00

Ah yes, Fox News... Fair and Balanced.

PC

Boy Friends Episode 10 "Donkey Kong"

2010-11-09T07:33:00.000-08:00

This was stupid, for sure.

PC

Harry Roy & His Orchestra "My Girl's Pussy" (1931)

2010-11-09T07:31:00.000-08:00

Harry Roy is a bad man,

PC

If Games Had Super-Easy Mode

2010-11-09T07:21:00.000-08:00

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Awesome,

PC

Driscoll Middle School Trick Play

2010-11-09T07:15:00.001-08:00

Awesome,

PC

Turtle Humps Shoe

2010-11-09T07:12:00.000-08:00

Dumbest Post of the Year?

Wow,

PC

My Conversation with Bob@AOL

2010-10-28T11:50:00.000-07:00

Check it out, I just talked to Bob on AIM!

PC: BOB!

Bob: :-)

PC: greatest screen name of all time

Bob: 8-)

PC: Well I am sure you are very busy, carry on

Bob: tis true what you say...thanks and enjoy!

----------------------------

That was awesome!

PC

Even More Stupid Pictures

2010-10-25T08:51:00.001-07:00

So the Random Stupidity Inbox was full of stupid pictures. The levees were about to burst. Here is my latest mega post:

Putin on the Ritz

Bobby Kotick

Man Reveals Intimate Romance With Dolphin

Obama Club Shanghai: China’s New Barack Obama-Themed Gentlemen’s Club

There, I hope that was enough random stupidity for you.

PC

KFC's Double Down

2010-04-12T08:44:00.000-07:00

Behold, The KFC Double Down!

--------------------------------
The sandwich contains no bread. Instead, two deep-fried boneless white-meat chicken filets act in bread’s place. They contain a sandwich of bacon and melted cheese between them, with a splat of a mayonnaise product called Colonel’s Sauce to moisten the whole.

Lettuce? Tomato? Come on. The Double Down is a sandwich, not a salad. There is no lettuce on it. There is no tomato.

But for the record? The calorie count for the Double Down is 540, according to KFC. That’s exactly equivalent to a Big Mac over at McDonald’s, and well below the 920 that constitutes a Double Whopper at Burger King.

- source NY Times
--------------------------------

Wow, I still think the Fifth Third Burger (5000 calories) is more disgusting, but we now have another samich that could kill us :)

PC

Apple Inc. Buys AOT Family of Websites

2010-04-01T08:44:00.000-07:00

Boom,

We have received and accepted an offer from Apple Inc. to sell our family of websites:

www.corruptpoliticiansforchange.com
www.randumbstupidity.com
www.technosucks.com
www.iflebronleaves.com
www.stevejobsisalive.com

for $15 billion.

Sorry, Google. Your offer was too cheap. This obviously means that we are going to pass the torch to Steve Jobs and buy a money bin to swim around in. Good luck, buddy. If you were a fan of us, too bad. You didn't buy enough T-shirts. This deal values each of our blogs at $3 billion. AOTV was the main sticking point in our past discussions with Google, but Apple was very impressed by AOTV 4 - United Banks of America. We would like to thank our fans for making us filthy rich, but now you guys can suck it... SIDEWAYS!

APRIL FOOLS!

PC

Stupid Pictures (an infinite series of reports)

2010-03-07T15:48:00.000-08:00

Okay, now that Conan is on Twitter, I am inspired enough to continue our blog. The following are stupid pictures:

There, I hope that was enough random stupidity for you.

PC

First Post of 2010!

2010-01-13T09:30:00.000-08:00

I hope all of you are off to a nice start to the year.
There's a whole lotta stupid to get to...

First, Conan...

Here is a full letter from Conan about the situation he faces:

People of Earth:

In the last few days, I’ve been getting a lot of sympathy calls, and I want to start by making it clear that no one should waste a second feeling sorry for me. For 17 years, I’ve been getting paid to do what I love most and, in a world with real problems, I’ve been absurdly lucky. That said, I’ve been suddenly put in a very public predicament and my bosses are demanding an immediate decision.

Six years ago, I signed a contract with NBC to take over The Tonight Show in June of 2009. Like a lot of us, I grew up watching Johnny Carson every night and the chance to one day sit in that chair has meant everything to me. I worked long and hard to get that opportunity, passed up far more lucrative offers, and since 2004 I have spent literally hundreds of hours thinking of ways to extend the franchise long into the future. It was my mistaken belief that, like my predecessor, I would have the benefit of some time and, just as important, some degree of ratings support from the prime-time schedule. Building a lasting audience at 11:30 is impossible without both.

But sadly, we were never given that chance. After only seven months, with my Tonight Show in its infancy, NBC has decided to react to their terrible difficulties in prime-time by making a change in their long-established late night schedule.

Last Thursday, NBC executives told me they intended to move the Tonight Show to 12:05 to accommodate the Jay Leno Show at 11:35. For 60 years the Tonight Show has aired immediately following the late local news. I sincerely believe that delaying the Tonight Show into the next day to accommodate another comedy program will seriously damage what I consider to be the greatest franchise in the history of broadcasting. The Tonight Show at 12:05 simply isn’t the Tonight Show. Also, if I accept this move I will be knocking the Late Night show, which I inherited from David Letterman and passed on to Jimmy Fallon, out of its long-held time slot. That would hurt the other NBC franchise that I love, and it would be unfair to Jimmy.

So it has come to this: I cannot express in words how much I enjoy hosting this program and what an enormous personal disappointment it is for me to consider losing it. My staff and I have worked unbelievably hard and we are very proud of our contribution to the legacy of The Tonight Show. But I cannot participate in what I honestly believe is its destruction. Some people will make the argument that with DVRs and the Internet a time slot doesn’t matter. But with the Tonight Show, I believe nothing could matter more.

There has been speculation about my going to another network but, to set the record straight, I currently have no other offer and honestly have no idea what happens next. My hope is that NBC and I can resolve this quickly so that my staff, crew, and I can do a show we can be proud of, for a company that values our work.

Have a great day and, for the record, I am truly sorry about my hair; it’s always been that way.

Yours,

Conan

--------------------------

Good Luck, Conan. I always hated Leno, loved Carson and will watch you wherever you go next. Poor Andy... He finally had a job.

--------------------------

Next up, Google and China.

This is a post from Google's Blog:

Like many other well-known organizations, we face cyber attacks of varying degrees on a regular basis. In mid-December, we detected a highly sophisticated and targeted attack on our corporate infrastructure originating from China that resulted in the theft of intellectual property from Google. However, it soon became clear that what at first appeared to be solely a security incident--albeit a significant one--was something quite different.

First, this attack was not just on Google. As part of our investigation we have discovered that at least twenty other large companies from a wide range of businesses--including the Internet, finance, technology, media and chemical sectors--have been similarly targeted. We are currently in the process of notifying those companies, and we are also working with the relevant U.S. authorities.

Second, we have evidence to suggest that a primary goal of the attackers was accessing the Gmail accounts of Chinese human rights activists. Based on our investigation to date we believe their attack did not achieve that objective. Only two Gmail accounts appear to have been accessed, and that activity was limited to account information (such as the date the account was created) and subject line, rather than the content of emails themselves.

Third, as part of this investigation but independent of the attack on Google, we have discovered that the accounts of dozens of U.S.-, China- and Europe-based Gmail users who are advocates of human rights in China appear to have been routinely accessed by third parties. These accounts have not been accessed through any security breach at Google, but most likely via phishing scams or malware placed on the users' computers.

We have already used information gained from this attack to make infrastructure and architectural improvements that enhance security for Google and for our users. In terms of individual users, we would advise people to deploy reputable anti-virus and anti-spyware programs on their computers, to install patches for their operating systems and to update their web browsers. Always be cautious when clicking on links appearing in instant messages and emails, or when asked to share personal information like passwords online. You can read more here about our cyber-security recommendations. People wanting to learn more about these kinds of attacks can read this U.S. government report (PDF), Nart Villeneuve's blog and this presentation on the GhostNet spying incident.

We have taken the unusual step of sharing information about these attacks with a broad audience not just because of the security and human rights implications of what we have unearthed, but also because this information goes to the heart of a much bigger global debate about freedom of speech. In the last two decades, China's economic reform programs and its citizens' entrepreneurial flair have lifted hundreds of millions of Chinese people out of poverty. Indeed, this great nation is at the heart of much economic progress and development in the world today.

We launched Google.cn in January 2006 in the belief that the benefits of increased access to information for people in China and a more open Internet outweighed our discomfort in agreeing to censor some results. At the time we made clear that "we will carefully monitor conditions in China, including new laws and other restrictions on our services. If we determine that we are unable to achieve the objectives outlined we will not hesitate to reconsider our approach to China."

These attacks and the surveillance they have uncovered--combined with the attempts over the past year to further limit free speech on the web--have led us to conclude that we should review the feasibility of our business operations in China. We have decided we are no longer willing to continue censoring our results on Google.cn, and so over the next few weeks we will be discussing with the Chinese government the basis on which we could operate an unfiltered search engine within the law, if at all. We recognize that this may well mean having to shut down Google.cn, and potentially our offices in China.

The decision to review our business operations in China has been incredibly hard, and we know that it will have potentially far-reaching consequences. We want to make clear that this move was driven by our executives in the United States, without the knowledge or involvement of our employees in China who have worked incredibly hard to make Google.cn the success it is today. We are committed to working responsibly to resolve the very difficult issues raised.

Posted by David Drummond, SVP, Corporate Development and Chief Legal Officer

--------------------------

As a website that has been attacked by hackers, I feel their pain. I love that Google is fighting for free information in what is otherwise a nation of propaganda. This is just the beginning of what I believe will be the war of the next century. A war of information, technology and privacy. Good thing there is an Army of Techno you can join!

--------------------------

Also, check out some other stupid blogs/tweets from other people.

Shit My Dad Says

Favorite quote:
"Universe is 14 billion years old. Seems silly to celebrate one year. Be like having a fucking parade every time i take a piss."

Sleep Talkin Man

Favorite quote:
"Don't leave the duck there. It's totally irresponsible. Put it on the swing, it'll have much more fun."

Also, Colleen's Enemies is back!
--------------------------

Lastly, how much would it suck to lose a competitive Halo match because of hardware failure?

Check out this Kotaku article...

Here is the YouTube link, they disabled embedding...

I feel your pain Triggers Down...
--------------------------

There it is, the first post of 2010.

PC

Silly Asians

2009-12-08T07:52:00.000-08:00

Check out some silly Asian videos...

Chinese Video About Tiger Woods

Japanese Man in Black Face Performing "What A Wonderful World"

Japanese Comedy Troop Performing "Yatta Yatta"

Also check out these stories...

During a year-long gambling binge at the Caesars Palace and Rio casinos in 2007, Terrance Watanabe managed to lose nearly $127 million. - source WSJ

A Chinese man has signed a contract with his wife that entitles her to attack him once a week. - source Telegraph UK

I hope you learned something,

PC

More Stupid Commercials!

2009-11-30T08:36:00.000-08:00

So we were hanging out at my friend's house this weekend and I was shown the following amazingly stupid advertisements!

Jones Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage Facility

After some research I found that he has another business...
Jones Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage!

Cullman Liquidation Depressing Mobile Home Ad

Cuban Gynecologist and American Car Salesman

An Insanely Long Indian Condom Commercial

I am also going to repost Montgomery Flea Market again...

These marketing geniuses are titans of industry and a reminder of the unbreakable spirit of entrepreneurship in this post credit crisis world.

PC

Hotel Offers Guests a Night as a Hamster

2009-11-18T16:44:00.001-08:00

- source Reuters

NANTES - It's a unique concept according to its creators, a hotel in the French town of Nantes is offering the chance for people to become a hamster.

For 99 euros ($148.10) a night, you can eat hamster grain, run in a giant wheel and sleep in hay stacks in what is called the "Hamster Villa."

Maud and Sebastien are the first ones to experience how hamsters live, not afraid at the thought of sleeping in hay or feeding on a hamster fountain and special grain.

It's a unique experience and, the guests say, just something different.

"To become a hamster, eat seeds, change our way of life...come out of our daily routine" Maud and Sebastien told Reuters TV..

The owners, Frederic Tabary and Yann Falquerho, run a company which rents out unusual and bizarre places.

"The Hamster in the world of children is that little cuddly animal. Often, the adults who come here have wanted or did have hamsters when they were small," Falquerho said, dressed as a hamster.

However, the price is soon to go up as today's hamsters need, according to the owners, Wifi and a giant TV screen.

------------------------------------------------

Leave it to the French to do something that stupid. There have got to be better ways to get away from life's daily routines. How about next time you want to spend a night as a hamster, just take a shovel and hit yourself in the face as hard as you can? Got any other ideas for these crazy bastards? Leave them in the comments section below...

PC

Mayor of Sugar Land Robbed at Gunpoint

2009-11-18T16:38:00.000-08:00

The Mayor of Sugar Land, Texas was robbed in his own driveway after a city council meeting...
- source chron.com

Just a sign of the times...

PC

Random Stupidity Gets the Google Nod!

2009-10-21T13:37:00.000-07:00

Hello Readers!

Just for shiggles (shits and giggles), I googled Random Stupidity the other day. What did I find? We are number 1!

What follows is a conglomerated post of random stupidity.

Texan drives $1 million Bugatti Veyron into marshes

Dock Ellis & The LSD No-No

Al Franken is now my favorite member of congress, check out this YouTube of him grilling a doctor about health care reform...

Retarded Policeman #9: Boobies!

Monkey Washing Cat

Speaking of Cats...

Check out this ridiculous kill in Modern Warfare 2!

Thanks to all you readers, we will continue to be an industry leader in Random Stupidity for years to come!

PC

Three Cheers for the Status Quo

2009-10-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

Hip Hip Hooray!
Hip Hip Hooray!
Hip Hip Hooray!

Giant Donut in the Sky, please protect my insurance company.

PC

Pregnant Woman Gets Pregnant Again!

2009-09-24T19:44:00.000-07:00

Wow,

PC

Healthcare Reform Victims

2009-09-23T07:09:00.000-07:00

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

I have been saying this for months... Why would you defend corrupt billion dollar industries that don't give a crap about you?

PC

Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

2009-09-01T11:12:00.000-07:00

JM writes...

"Everyones panties are all in a twist over torture...I say step up the waterboarding a notch to real torture instead of that pussy Sh#@!! and then throw Nancy Pelosi in there for the hell of it."

--------------------------------------

Oh boy, I don't know if it is even worth posting these away messages anymore. I keep doing it because it qualifies under the "Stupidity" part of Random Stupidity. Where to start? Water boarding is not pussy shit. Anyone who has had it done to them will back me up on that. In fact, they will all say that it is torture. Are my panties in a twist? I think not, but I do think that America has an opportunity to be a moral leader in a world of anarchy. When it comes to national security, I understand that there is a gray area in between torture and interrogation. Just imagine yourself or your friends and family being suspected of terrorism, and then tortured unjustly. I am not saying that all detainees are innocent, but if there are even a few, I would not be in favor of torture. The radical terrorists are willing to kill themselves, why do we think torture will yield anything but more hatred? This is something JM doesn't understand. I am starting to wonder what kind of Nazi blood orgy he took part in. His recent away messages and comments are indicative of an ongoing problem amongst whiny white republicans that think that they are about to be ethnically cleansed. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle a nigger (black)?

Giant Donut in the Sky, HELP US!

PC

Defeat the Debt... Yea Right...

2009-09-01T07:25:00.000-07:00

So I just saw this on CNBC...

- from Defeat the Debt

I understand the fear about our enormous national debt to China, but quit using the "Won't someone think of the children?" argument. It is trite and classless. Do you think those kids really care what their parents pay in taxes? Do you think they even know their future profession? If you think they do, I have some valuable commercial real estate in Northeast Ohio to sell you... Seriously, the debates about economic stimulus, healthcare, and energy have demonstrated my greatest fear about the USA. Our citizens are getting dumber by the day, and corporations/lobbyists are manipulating the masses through fear tactics.

Disagree with me? Go back to drinking your high fructose corn syrup and watching Michael Jackson E! News Coverage. I am sorry to have tried to make you think, I know it makes your head hurt.

PC

Google Search is Racist!

2009-08-28T08:18:00.000-07:00

Well, apparently Google is getting hammered with a search.

Via NowPublic.com, Google has been spammed with searches for "white people stole my car." The effort has been so big that the phrase has been showing up on Google Trends for a few days.

The term, when search, leads to sites that contain viruses and even more spam. According to Google Insights, the phrase began being "searched" August 19.

There are also reports that when people searched for "white people stole my car," Google returned with "Did You Mean: black people stole my car?" But I find that part to be a bit far-fetched and unlikely to have actually happened.
-----------------------------

The file is most likely doctored, but this is just another weird thing to happen with Google. Remember the Chinese People search?

I still love you, Google.
PC

Inhalerette TV Commercial

2009-08-27T07:30:00.000-07:00

"Try doing that with a patch!"

Classy,

PC

Time for Monkey Magic!

2009-08-24T19:46:00.000-07:00

After some intense research, I have found we are very low on random monkey videos here at Random Stupidity.

Enjoy.

Pankun can also make noodles.

I hope you liked that.

PC

Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

2009-08-24T08:32:00.000-07:00

JM writes,

The VA(government run veterans healthcare) has a 52-page end-of-life planning document called the "Death Book” which just so happened to be reinstated by Obama recently. Page 21 from the “death book” is a questionnaire entitled “what makes your life worth living” Each question has a choice of If you checked 'can't answer now,' what information or people do you need to help you decide?" Obama is lying to you when he says there will be no death panels.

---------------------------------------------------

Okay... When did end of life planning become a bad thing? The leap that JM makes from "Can't Answer Now" to "Death Panels" is full of mayonnaise. Maybe those "people" you need to help you decide are your family and friends? Using "information" to make decisions is a bad thing? Sounds very Bushian to me. Whiny Republicans need to get the dick of the health care industry out of their mouths. Seriously, the misinformation being fed to the ignorant and angry town hall/birthers/teabaggers is hilarious. You people are broke, and you are letting billionaires tell you what they want you to think. All they care about is Earnings Per Share. These companies should be ashamed of themselves for abusing the same people that need reform. This is not about race, it is about class. For all the rabble-rousing at the Town Hall Meetings, have you heard a single solution from any of these protesters? Why defend the status quo when you are not receiving any benefit?

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
- Albert Einstein

Giant Donut in the Sky help us!

PC

Amanda Drury Goes Down...

2009-08-18T22:17:00.000-07:00

Under with Joe Terranova...

Giggity!

PC

Worst Rated Player on Madden ‘07

2009-08-11T11:59:00.000-07:00

Source: emailsfromcrazypeople.com
---------------------------------
To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. Fuck, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod Hate Me Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. Fuck, man, there are some shitty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

John, you are such a fucking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fucking zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fucking face. Fuck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a – 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a fucking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass fuckwad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

Fuck you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you fuck with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright

---------------------------------

Wow, it must suck to be the worst rated player in Madden.
Thanks to Colleen for sending this story to us...

PC

Police chase 7-year-old driver

2009-08-01T09:58:00.001-07:00

He really didn't want to go to Church...

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

I salute you, crazy Utah kid...

PC

Shake Weight (this just seems wrong)

2009-07-30T17:42:00.001-07:00

So many things to say...

Random Stupidity, indeed...

PC

Banned German Sprite AD (NSFW)

2009-07-20T09:01:00.000-07:00

I repeat, this is NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

That is either great or terrible, but either way it sure is random and stupid.

PC

The Duck Song

2009-07-19T14:59:00.000-07:00

RS 4 Sure.

PC

You're Gonna Love My Nuts

2009-07-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

Check out this remixed Slap Chop commercial.

Well played, DJ.

PC

Poor Oppressed White Men

2009-07-16T22:10:00.000-07:00

You poor oppressed white men, I had no idea you had it so rough...

Pat Buchanan is the epitome of class and intelligence.

PC

Texas Man Gets $23 Quadrillion Visa Bill

2009-07-15T09:44:00.001-07:00

A technical glitch via Visa's billing department led Jon Seale of Trophy Club to receive a $23,148,855,308,184,500 credit card statement. The charge in question came from Wolfgang Puck's new restaurant, Five Sixty, which is expensive, but not that expensive. Seale said, "For that amount of money, I could actually own Wolfgang Puck himself."

Now that is stupid, Visa...

PC

Mr. Period's Forum Tips

2009-07-14T10:18:00.001-07:00

Thanks to Penny Arcade, this is just fantastic...

PC

Fattening Up Our Tapeworms!

2009-07-09T12:12:00.001-07:00

For some reason their song was in my head today...

PC

Sloppy Drunk LisaNova

2009-07-08T13:32:00.000-07:00

Random and Stupid...

Thanks Lisa,

PC

Bears (an new infinite series of reports)

2009-07-07T10:51:00.000-07:00

So a woman in Cleveland spotted a bear...

Gotta love that cardboard cutout reenactment...

Here is some real bear on human action, with Chuck Norris!

What was that bear thinking?

Lastly, a Cougar vs Bear video...

Random Stupidity for sure,

PC

RoboGeisha Trailer

2009-06-30T18:46:00.000-07:00

"Though he’s been brewing his particular brand of madness for a good long while now it wasn’t until the arrival of Machine Girl that writer-director Noboru Iguchi really made an impression here in North America. But when he did, it was a big one - his fetishized story of a high school girl whose arm is replaced by a giant machine gun becoming a genuine viral phenomenon as it raced through the web. And how has Iguchi followed up the success of Machine Girl? With robotic geishas. Lots of them.

RoboGeisha is the latest collaboration between Iguchi and special effects man Yoshihiro Nishimura - himself the director of Tokyo Gore Police - and it bears all of the now-classic hallmarks of the duo: outrageous special effects, grotesquely hilarious gore and weapons where weapons just should not go. Machine Girl had the mechanized arm. Iguchi’s earlier Sukeban Boy had leg and breast cannons. Nishimura’s Tokyo Gore Police has the infamous penis cannon. RoboGeisha? This one boasts what the trailer graciously describes as hip-katanas, though the swords are actually placed considerably lower and more to the rear. Yes, Iguchi’s latest has ass-swords and women who aren’t afraid to use them. And that’s not even mentioning the giant robot-building, the transforming geisha-tank or the fried shrimp rammed into eye sockets.

The trailer for RoboGeisha is a virtual compendium of the bizarre and hilarious world of Iguchi, all of it narrated in bizarrely dry style. We’re very proud to have been given the world exclusive of the trailer here at Twitch, passed to us directly from production company TO Entertainment, and you can find it below the break!"
- source Twitch

Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

2009-06-28T18:55:00.000-07:00

JM: Michael Jackson was a great musician but ahhh...
he was a child molesting freak as well

PC: He was a great musician long before he became a child molesting freak, and he probably turned out the way he did through faults of society. Still a weirdo, but sold over 100 million copies of Thriller, there is something to be said of that. I am more bummed out about Billy Mays, he could sell anything.

Google's Dangerous Thirst for Power

2009-06-26T06:47:00.000-07:00

Check out this story about Google drilling for geothermal energy...
---------------------------
With its many servers, Google devours electricity. And with search queries growing by 50%, it's only getting hungrier. The solution? Drill a two-mile-deep hole in the Earth, extracting geothermal energy and possibly destroying San Francisco with a terrible earthquake.

The AltaRock project north of San Francisco is hardly Google's first foray into electricity production; the company has hydroelectric projects scattered across the country.

But AltaRock is special, what with its capacity for triggering deadly seismic activities. With investors like Google, Kleiner Perkins and the federal government, it's no wonder the company has, according to the New York Times, denied an inconvenient truth: that a similar geothermal project in Basel, Switzerland "set off an earthquake, shaking and damaging buildings and terrifying many" in December 2006, according to Swiss government seismologists cited by the Times.

And, yes, it could happen here:

Seismologists have long known that human activities can trigger quakes, but they say the science is not developed enough to say for certain what will or will not set off a major temblor.

It's been easy for politicians to convince themselves that what's good for Google — a high-paying employer that doesn't make its money polluting — is good for their communities. That's an assumption they may have to shake off.
- Source Gawker
---------------------------

First San Fran, then the rest of the world. Google is out of control, and I for one like it. All praise be to Google, the one true internet.

PC

Buzz Aldrin is So Gangsta!

2009-06-24T09:25:00.000-07:00

Behind the Scenes of Buzz Aldrin's Rocket Experience recording session with Snoop, Talib Kweli and Soulja Boy...

Making of Buzz Aldrin's Rocket Experience w/ Snoop Dogg and Talib Kweli from Buzz Aldrin

Here is the video...

Buzz Aldrin's Rocket Experience from Buzz Aldrin

This track is more gangsta than anything on Eminem's new CD...
PC

Comfort Wipes, Innovative Asswiping

2009-06-19T11:27:00.000-07:00

Keeping the toilet humor going, here is a REAL AD for a product called Comfort Wipe...

"The first improvement to toilet paper as we know it since the 1880s"
"The Comfort Wipe, allows you to maintain your dignity, while you maintain your personal hygiene."

God help us,

PC

Puppy Flushed Down Toilet

2009-06-18T06:45:00.000-07:00

A 4 year old boy flushed his puppy down the toilet...

Random Stupidity, indeed...

PC

Play Haley Off Keyboard Cat

2009-06-12T08:39:00.000-07:00

This may be my favorite one of these...

Truly random stupidity.

PC

Jeff Macke May Leave CNBC

2009-06-09T10:11:00.001-07:00

After watching this, we should have seen it coming..

If you leave, you will be missed Jeff...
You crazy bastard.

PC

Zack Attacks Fallon

2009-06-09T08:50:00.001-07:00

Zack Morris on the Jimmy Fallon Show.
Random Stupidity, indeed.

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Mr. Alan's and Mark have your back!

2009-05-29T12:51:00.000-07:00

In this warcession we need deals like 1 for $29 or 2 for $50, 10 bucks!

This may be the best Ad campaign ever!

If you can't get credit at Norton Furniture, you can't get it anywhere...

Mark creeps me out...

This one has a surprise ending...

Mark takes his message to the streets...

And now an even worse AD:

I hope that was stupid and/or random enough,

PC

Integriti's Special Invitation

2009-05-22T08:05:00.000-07:00

Title: Your special invitation...

So i opened the mail yesterday and found something that belongs here. During the worst recession of our generation I recieve a special invitation from Visa. For a low low price of $495 per year I could own a patent pending carbon fiber black credit card! Are you kidding me Visa? Where is Ashton at? Oh, I know where he is, buried under billions in bad debt like the rest of us. Visa die.

- Integriti

---------------------------------------------

Sounds like a sweet deal.

PC

Who is Frank? Why is he in my Cream Pan?

2009-05-21T20:24:00.000-07:00

So we got some Japanese dessert and realized that there was some dude named Frank in it. If you have any information regarding Frank's whereabouts, please contact us...

Or this will happen to you:

Or maybe even this...

Or in the worst case scenario, this...

PC

PS

Here is some more Walker Texas Ranger.

Technology Wars (3D Realms Death)

2009-05-06T17:32:00.001-07:00

3D Realms Shuts Down

In what can only be described as the worst corporate failure since Lehman Brothers, 3D Realms has shut down operations. For 13 years I had been waiting for my favorite first person shooter Duke Nukem 3D's sequel. Duke Nukem Forever was given a WID release date. WID stood for when its done. Apparently WID now means never. The stock market has responded terribly. Nasdaq down 3%, S&P 500 struggling to stay above 900, and the Dow Jones selling off 150 points! The systematic risk of a 3D Realms failure and the ensuing instability in all of gaming has shook the global economy to its core. Oil shot up to $58 in what can only be described as a flight to quality. The US Treasury had to issue 30 year bonds at the highest yield since the current warcession hit. Desperate times call for desperate measures. We must bailout 3D Realms, or at the very least Duke Nukem Forever. Unless we want the deflationary spiral to continue, Congress and the Obama Administration must act swiftly and with no accountability. Do we need to revisit the days after the fall of Fannie, Freddie, AIG, Bear Stearns, Lehman, Washington Mutual, and Circuit City? Or do we do things differently? A world without Duke Nukem is a sad shell of existence. Public health care can be put on the back burner, but this cannot wait. We have never faced the kind of volatility that the unmet expected release of DNF will cause. Forget the S&P 500 going to 666 again, we would be heading below 500. Apple would collapse and Microsoft would start making pancakes instead of software. Do we really want to see this world? I sure as shit don't and I would ask all citizens to unite with me in demanding a bailout of 3D Realms to allow Duke Nukem Forever to be released. The government could take an ownership interest that would allow for capital appreciation to flow through to taxpayers. This is bigger than any other crisis we have faced.

God help us,

Productive Citizen

To soften the devastating blow of this news I have provided a remix of the Duke Nukem 3D Theme Song. Hopefully this will prevent some of the inevitable suicides.

Farewell Duke.mp3

Ohio, at least we have LeBron James

2009-05-05T07:54:00.001-07:00

First some videos about the bustling metropolis of Cleveland, Ohio

Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 1st Attempt

Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 2nd Attempt

Now some videos about the caped crusader of Cincinnati, Ohio. SHADOWHARE!

Cincinnati's Masked Super Hero: Part 1

Cincinnati's Masked Super Hero: Part 2

More info about Shadowhare available here.
View our comments for the copy of an online chat session with Shadowhare...

In other news LeBron James was named MVP of the NBA. He is the first Cavalier to receive this honor and he accepted the award at his highschool, St. Vincent-St. Mary, in Akron, Ohio. Go Cavs!

LeBron shows that even in a state with very little opportunity, a valuable person can be born and succeed. His work is not over. 12 more wins!

PC

Lost Jumping Shark Irony

2009-04-30T11:52:00.000-07:00

So the feeling that I have wasted five years of my life watching Lost is now compounding exponentially on a weekly basis. Last episode the magic smoke monster comes out of freaking Egyptian sewer grate and now get hot exploding video game barrels. This weeks episode (14 I think) pushed me over the limit when Happy Days was actually referenced in the episode. Proof that the show has indeed jumped the shark. I am not the only one who think so.

Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

2009-04-27T11:54:00.000-07:00

JM at it again with his "wisdom."

Check out the latest away message:

"The smallest minority is the INDIVIDUAL ...If you get caught up in filtering people as groups as many in Washington and the media do then you fundamentally can't believe in 'individual liberty' which is a cornerstone of our founding. This leads one to believe that the only option is the collective or socialism. This "group" mentality permeates every corner of academia and is destroying the very reason this great country has come so far in only 300 years."

-----

So I think this is interesting. Group think is bad? I agree that blindly following what the majority thinks is wrong. People should know why they feel strongly about what they think. You shouldn't let Fox News spoon feed you talking points. But wait, does that mean JM thinks Fox News Junkies are socialists? This all or none philosophy is what I would call random stupidity. Individuals can think things that happen to be thought by other people. If a group of individuals believes the same thing, why are they socialists? Some individuals may agree with part of a group's philosophy and disagree with other parts. I agree that lumping people into groups could be damaging. I wonder if any group thinks what JM thinks? Using his own logic, would that make him a socialist?

Food for thought, and thought is definitely starving...

PC

Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

2009-04-24T07:26:00.000-07:00

So one of my friends is off the deep end.
Check out this ignorant away message...

"Obama, Pelosi, Reid, Feinstein, Barney Frank and any other lib or phony repube-ican deserves to be shot in the head for for what they are doing to this country"

- JM Doi April 24, 2009

Shot in the head? I hope the CIA is paying attention to GChat away messages. I don't know where to start with to explain just how wrong that away message is. I didn't agree with the Bush administration, but I never wished such horrible things upon them. This is America, and Obama is your President now. Don't like it? Get out. I am definitely not a fan of congress, but they are all we have. This blatant hatred is what leads to nutjobs actually trying to hurt our public officials. This is a lot like Palin leading "Kill Him" chants during the election. I am sure the people that sent "Obsession" to Muslim families across the US approve of JM's away message. If this is the direction of the conservative/religious right wing, I would gladly pay higher taxes so President Obama can get a pope mobile. No American should ever wish for public servants to be shot in the head. Provide your counterarguments to their policy, but blatant violent rage will not accomplish anything. I am ashamed to be a product of the same education system as this retard. Random stupidity? Probably just plain old stupidity.

Here is an excerpt of our conversation:

PC: your away message sucks
JM: they deserve it all of them ....tactical nuke washington
PC: you are nuts
JM: oh well, cant take it anymore with these bastards
PC: yea, violence and anger won't get you anywhere
JM: oh well, i cant help the way i feel

God help us,

PC

Teabag the White House and Kanye's Sad

2009-04-10T23:07:00.000-07:00

Huge Heap of Stupidity Today...

First Teabagging the White House:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Next, Kanye's illiterate blog post about South Park shitting all over him.
"SOUTH PARK MURDERED ME LAST NIGHT AND IT'S PRETTY FUNNY. IT HURTS MY FEELINGS BUT WHAT CAN YOU EXPECT FROM SOUTH PARK! I ACTUALLY HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY EGO THOUGH. HAVING THE CRAZY EGO IS PLAYED OUT AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE AND CAREER. I USE TO USE IT TO BUILD UP MY ESTEEM WHEN NOBODY BELIEVED IN ME. NOW THAT PEOPLE DO BELIEVE AND SUPPORT MY MUSIC AND PRODUCTS THE BEST RESPONSE IS THANK YOU INSTEAD OF "I TOLD YOU SO!!!" IT'S COOL TO TALK SHIT WHEN YOU'RE RAPPING BUT NOT IN REAL LIFE. WHEN YOU MEET LITTLE WAYNE IN PERSON HE'S THE NICEST GUY FOR EXAMPLE. I JUST WANNA BE A DOPER PERSON WHICH STARTS WITH ME NOT ALWAYS TELLING PEOPLE HOW DOPE I THINK I AM. I NEED TO JUST GET PAST MYSELF. DROP THE BRAVADO AND JUST MAKE DOPE PRODUCT. EVERYTHING IS NOT THAT SERIOUS. AS LONG AS PEOPLE THINK I ACT LIKE A BITCH THIS TYPE OF SHIT WILL HAPPEN TO ME. I GOT A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF ME TO MAKE PEOPLE BELIEVE I'M NOT ACTUALLY A HUGE DOUCHE BUT I'M UP FOR THE CHALLENGE. I'M SURE THE WRITERS AT SOUTH PARK ARE REALLY NICE PEOPLE IN REAL LIFE. THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TO DRAW MY CREW. THAT WAS PRETTY FUNNY ALSO!! I'M SURE THERE'S GRAMMATICAL ERRORS IN THIS... THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW IT'S ME!" - Kanye West's Blog 4/09/09

Download the Gay Fish Song here.
Video Here:

You morons are making it way too easy to blog about random stupidity. Thank you, Matt and Trey of South Park. You guys are my heros. Between this episode and Margaritaville, you have shown me that there is still a small bit of humanity that can appreciate intelligent art and satire. Although most of our generation is hooked on meth...

Stay tuned for new beats from AOT,

PC

Cramer "Answers" My Email

2009-04-06T08:30:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago I sent an email to Jim Cramer about Sears (SHLD)

Gotta love his answer, Sears credit line is strong?

If I am right, I expect him to hand me over the show.

I would add some better sound buttons:
"It's garbage"
"Fuck You"
"I believe, strongly, that Gears of War will lead us out of the recession"
"Sears!"
"Work Sucks Deek!"
"Warcession!"
"Warflation!"
"I would rather own Sears"

Now that show would rock...
Although it would have to air after 10 PM,
I am available Comedy Central...

PC

Full Disclosure:
I own $2.50 and $20 strike puts on Sears in September 2009.

Bill O'Reilly Dance Remix

2009-04-03T08:18:00.000-07:00

This one is not safe for work, but boy is it funny.

Well done, and randomly stupid...

PC

Technology Wars: April Fool's Edition

2009-04-01T12:58:00.000-07:00

Check out the latest innovation from Qualcomm...

Also, Kodak is joining in the fun.
Also, Red Faction's Ostrich Hammer

True random stupidity.
In other news, AOT has received
competing bids from Microsoft, Google and Apple.

April Fools,

PC

Post #100: The 5000 Calorie Burger

2009-03-26T11:42:00.000-07:00

Source CNBC

In what is the epitome of stupidity, the Fifth Third Burger!

Fifth Third Burger "Nutritional" Value

Calories: 4889
Total Fat: 299g
Sat. Fat: 199g
Cholesterol: 744mg
Sodium: 10,887mg
Total Carbs: 354g
Protein: 198g

Congratulations to the Western Michigan Wildcats, who play at Fifth Third Bank Ballpark, for creating the most disgusting thing humans can eat. It's 5/3 lbs of beef with lettuce, tomato, salsa, sour cream, chili and Fritos on an eight-inch sesame seed bun. The team says it feeds one to four people and sells for $20, and if a person finishes the Fifth Third Burger in one sitting, the team will offer up a Fifth Third Burger T-shirt. Now you could either have 8 shares of Fifth Third Bank, or one of these burgers.

Either choice is probably a waste of money...

Wow, 100 posts... Here's to 100 more!

PC

China Hates Google

2009-03-24T13:30:00.000-07:00

China Blocks YouTube, Calls Tibet Beating Video 'Lies'
source CNBC

China on Tuesday accused supporters of the Dalai Lama of fabricating a video that appears to show police beating a Tibetan protester to death, while the video-sharing network YouTube said its service had been blocked for Chinese users.

The footage, which the official Xinhua News Agency said came from sources tied to the Dalai Lama's government-in-exile, was pieced together from different places, the agency said Tuesday, citing an unidentified official with China's Tibetan regional government.

t was not clear what video Xinhua was referring to or where it was available, but YouTube owner Google [GOOG 347.05 -1.55 (-0.44%) ] said that the file-sharing site had been blocked in China. Google spokesman Scott Rubin said in an e-mail to The Associated Press that the company was pushing to have service restored and that it could not comment on the Chinese government's reason for the block.

China occasionally blocks the file YouTube to prevent access to videos that criticize or shine an unflattering light on its Tibet policies.

The footage, which the Xinhua said came from sources tied to the Dalai Lama's government-in-exile, was pieced together from different places, the agency said Tuesday, citing an unidentified official with China's Tibetan regional government.

Few details were given, although the report said the footage purported to show a person named Tendar being beaten to death by police following a riot in Tibet's capital Lhasa on March 14 last year. Xinhua said the person in the footage was not in fact Tendar and wounds shown were fake.

"The Dalai Lama group is used to fabricating lies to deceive the international community and the aim of this video is to hide the truth of the March 14th riot," Xinhua quoted the official as saying.

The government did not directly address whether YouTube had been blocked. When asked about the matter, Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang told reporters: "Many people have a false impression that the Chinese government fears the Internet. In fact it is just the opposite."

Users in Beijing said they were unable to access the site late Tuesday.

Security in Tibetan areas of China has been tightened in recent weeks as Beijing seeks to head off trouble related to sensitive anniversaries this month. March 14 marked the one-year anniversary of anti-government riots in Lhasa, Tibet's regional capital, while March 17 marked 50 years since the Dalai Lama escaped into exile in India after Chinese troops crushed a Tibetan uprising.

Armed police have been patrolling a Tibetan community in northwest China following reports that six people were arrested after a crowd of hundreds—including Buddhist monks—attacked a police station.

-----------------------------------------------------

In our attempts to piss off China, here is the banned video...

Now we are not trying to be preachy, but it is apparent that the Chinese people need someone to show them the brighter side of the internet. In an attempt to lighten the mood, here is a randomly stupid game about boobs...
Lust for Bust

Click here to play this game

Changing the world, one boob at a time...

PC

Larry Kudlow Should Go To Jail

2009-03-19T13:13:00.000-07:00

Larry Kudlow seen here on CNBC burning a dollar to demonstrate the effect of new Fed monetary policies:

This is a violation of Title 18, Section 333, of the United States Code. Title 18, Section 333, states: "Whoever mutilates, cuts, defaces, disfigures, or perforates, or unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt unfit to be reissued, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both."

I sent an email to CNBC asking for Mr. Kudlow to at least pay the $100 fine. How arrogant can one man be? To burn a dollar during the peak of the worst recession since the 1930s disgusts me in a way similar to our previous post about Jim Cramer. These CNBC elitists have no idea what the common man is going through in America. Better ways to use that burnt dollar bill? Give it to a homeless person, donate it to charity, even roll it up to enjoy some of the nose candy that Kudlow was once addicted to... CNBC is resorting to classless antics that I thought were only reserved for Code Pink or the Daily Show, but even those groups think this is retarded. Random Stupidity? Absolutely. Shame on you, Mr. Kudlow. Shame on you, CNBC. Someone who cries about illegal behavior on Wall Street and in Washington should have no problem adhering to the law. I hope you are prosecuted to the full extent of the law. 6 months in pound-me-in-the-ass prison might be the only way to show Mr. Kudlow what the value of a dollar really is.

I love my country, and its currency.

PC

Jon Stewart vs Jim Cramer

2009-03-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

Please watch Jon Stewart mop the floor with Jim Cramer...

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 1

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 2

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 3

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

Random Stupidity?
Yes.
Corruption will continue to provide us with fantastic material.
BTW, Check out AOT's song
United Banks of America (52 Week Low Mix)
to get our take on the problems plaguing the banks.

May Gears bless us,
and the may Gears bless the
United Banks of America!

PC

United Banks of America (52WeekLowMix)

2009-02-21T22:29:00.001-08:00

Greetings,

As you all know, we are in the worst recession since 1937.
The situation is dire.
Banks are trading for less than Starbucks.
AOT has rushed here to save the financial system.
Our plan will follow in the coming weeks.
We are still hammering out most of the details.
Let me assure you, this new plan is good.
It's just not done yet.
So we'll get back to you when it is done.
In the meantime, please listen to our new song:

United Banks of America (52 Week Low Mix)

We have provided an approximation of the lyrics:

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United Banks of America
Fannie, Freddie, AIG
Where do they get the authority?
Wells Fargo, Bank of America
JP Morgan Stanley and Chase
WAMU, Countrywide, IndyMac
OH NO!
It's the Super Lehman Brothers
Riding on the back of the Meryll Lynch bull
Bear Stearns knocked the bull on its ass
shorting stocks like Douglas Kass
Whenever I make money, somebody loses money!
SRS
SKF
SSG
QID
SDS
DXD
If I'm gonna make money, somebody loses money!

I want a million dollars
You want a million dollars
Let's spend a trillion dollars
OH NO!

Pelosi, Reed and Barney Frank
Love the Fed more than you and me
George Bush and Henry Paulson
spent all our currency
The former head of the New York Fed is now in charge of the IRS
Tim Geithner takes your taxes
but he doesn't pay his own
you don't need an RTC
all you need is AOT

Peaceful Resolution
Peaceful Revolution

a revolution without dancing is not a revolution worth having.

This ain't a bad bank
it's a citi bank
this aint a bad bank
it's a shitty bank
SRS
SKF
SSG
QID
SDS
DXD
I only make money, if someone loses money!
------------------------------------------------------------

We can only hope this will create a more open dialogue about what is really going on in the world economy.

PC

GBFMYC

2009-02-19T21:42:00.000-08:00

Give Us Back Our Fucking Money You Cunts, brought to you by dontpaniconline.com

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND - Give Us Back Our F****** Money
by DontPanicOnline

At least the global financial shitstorm is allowing for some comedy...

PC

China's Next Top Mistress

2009-02-17T12:35:00.000-08:00

Just when we think we are done talking about China, a friend sends us this story...

Source: CNN
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

"BEIJING, China (CNN) -- A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.

But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported.

The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said.

Police initially thought the car had plummeted off a mountain road in eastern China on December 6 by accident. Then they learned of the contest through a letter the dead woman had left behind, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said.

The 29-year-old woman, identified only as Yu, was a waitress when she met the businessman at a restaurant in the coastal city of Qingdao in 2000.

At the time, the businessman, identified only by his last name -- Fan -- was married and had four other mistresses, according to the Peninsula Metropolis Daily newspaper in Qingdao.

The women knew of one another, but none elected to break up with the man and give up their rent-free apartment and a 5,000 yuan ($730) monthly allowance, the reports said.

When the economy soured, the businessman apparently decided to let go of all but one mistress.

He staged a private talent show in May, without telling the women his intentions. An instructor from a local modeling agency judged the women on the way they looked, how they sang and how much alcohol they could hold, the Shanghai Daily said.

The judge knocked out Yu in the first round of the competition based on her looks. Angry, she decided to exact revenge by telling her lover and the four other women to accompany her on a sightseeing trip before she returned to her home province, the media reports said.

It was during the trip that Yu reportedly drove the car off the cliff.

Fan shut down his company after the crash and paid Yu's parents 580,000 yuan ($84,744) as compensation for her death.

The four other women left him, as did his wife when she learned of the affairs."

-------------------------------------------------------------------------
You just gotta love the three categories of the competition:

Looks: How can you have a mistress if she isn't hot?

Singing Ability: A mistress has to be able to frequent a karaoke bar and hold it down.

Alcohol Tolerance: Now this one is tricky, as most hot, Asian women are skinny and have problems metabolizing their booze. Still, a man has to have his priorities.

Now the last point I will make: Who gets in a car with a girl whose life you just ruined? Especially with the other women you rejected her to be with. Mr. Fan exhibited a fine example of random stupidity, which will be forever immortalized in our blog.

Kudos to China, we will keep eating this crazy shit up...

PC

Dan Deacon - Crystal Cat

2009-02-15T11:01:00.000-08:00

From half of the guys that brought you Mister Ballonhands,
It's Crystal Cat!

Random Stupidity indeed,

PC

I thought you were a rocket scientist!

2009-02-13T20:09:00.000-08:00

Source Journal Times

"The thumbs down in the we-knew-it-had-to-happen-sooner-or-later category occurred this week 500 miles over Siberia: the first recorded space collision between two satellites. According to news reports, a working U.S. Iridium satellite on contract for commercial and Department of Defense work plowed into a one-ton defunct Soviet military satellite. The collision spewed space debris over 300 to 800 miles and could pose a danger to other satellites. Perhaps even more predictable than the crash was the response from the Soviets, who suggested NASA and Iridium could have avoided the crash by adjusting its orbit. “It could have been a computer failure or a human error,” a Soviet space expert said, “It also could be that they were only paying attention to smaller debris and ignoring the defunct satellites.” Why don’t you watch where you’re going with that heap of junk? No tickets were issued."

Gotta love those cold-blooded Russians, and wow, if you needed to know that Motorola was hurting there you go...

PC

Happy Birthday to Me.

2009-02-13T06:26:00.001-08:00

I am 28, and I gotta say that last year felt like 30 years... The older I get, the more responsibilities I face. I am grateful to the giant donut in the sky for giving me all the opportunity to succeed and live in a country with 24 hour drive thru hamburger joints. I thank the giant donut in the sky for all Cleveland sports, for the University of Michigan, for WRA, CCDS, and all other things that have formed who I am. I will continue to make electronic music as it is my religion to do so. Thank you giant donut for saving me in 2006 when I had my near fatal car accident.

And Thanks to all my readers, friends, family and Earl Divx...

PC