Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Monday, November 30, 2009

More Stupid Commercials!

So we were hanging out at my friend's house this weekend and I was shown the following amazingly stupid advertisements!

Jones Big Ass Truck Rental and Storage Facility

After some research I found that he has another business...
Jones Good Ass BBQ & Foot Massage!

Cullman Liquidation Depressing Mobile Home Ad

Cuban Gynecologist and American Car Salesman

An Insanely Long Indian Condom Commercial

I am also going to repost Montgomery Flea Market again...

These marketing geniuses are titans of industry and a reminder of the unbreakable spirit of entrepreneurship in this post credit crisis world.


Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Hotel Offers Guests a Night as a Hamster

- source Reuters

NANTES - It's a unique concept according to its creators, a hotel in the French town of Nantes is offering the chance for people to become a hamster.

For 99 euros ($148.10) a night, you can eat hamster grain, run in a giant wheel and sleep in hay stacks in what is called the "Hamster Villa."

Maud and Sebastien are the first ones to experience how hamsters live, not afraid at the thought of sleeping in hay or feeding on a hamster fountain and special grain.

It's a unique experience and, the guests say, just something different.

"To become a hamster, eat seeds, change our way of life...come out of our daily routine" Maud and Sebastien told Reuters TV..

The owners, Frederic Tabary and Yann Falquerho, run a company which rents out unusual and bizarre places.

"The Hamster in the world of children is that little cuddly animal. Often, the adults who come here have wanted or did have hamsters when they were small," Falquerho said, dressed as a hamster.

However, the price is soon to go up as today's hamsters need, according to the owners, Wifi and a giant TV screen.


Leave it to the French to do something that stupid. There have got to be better ways to get away from life's daily routines. How about next time you want to spend a night as a hamster, just take a shovel and hit yourself in the face as hard as you can? Got any other ideas for these crazy bastards? Leave them in the comments section below...


Mayor of Sugar Land Robbed at Gunpoint

The Mayor of Sugar Land, Texas was robbed in his own driveway after a city council meeting...
- source chron.com

Just a sign of the times...


Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Random Stupidity Gets the Google Nod!

Hello Readers!

Just for shiggles (shits and giggles), I googled Random Stupidity the other day. What did I find? We are number 1!

What follows is a conglomerated post of random stupidity.

Texan drives $1 million Bugatti Veyron into marshes

Dock Ellis & The LSD No-No

Al Franken is now my favorite member of congress, check out this YouTube of him grilling a doctor about health care reform...

Retarded Policeman #9: Boobies!

Monkey Washing Cat

Speaking of Cats...

Check out this ridiculous kill in Modern Warfare 2!

Thanks to all you readers, we will continue to be an industry leader in Random Stupidity for years to come!


Monday, October 05, 2009

Three Cheers for the Status Quo

Hip Hip Hooray!
Hip Hip Hooray!
Hip Hip Hooray!

Giant Donut in the Sky, please protect my insurance company.


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Healthcare Reform Victims

I have been saying this for months... Why would you defend corrupt billion dollar industries that don't give a crap about you?


Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

JM writes...

"Everyones panties are all in a twist over torture...I say step up the waterboarding a notch to real torture instead of that pussy Sh#@!! and then throw Nancy Pelosi in there for the hell of it."


Oh boy, I don't know if it is even worth posting these away messages anymore. I keep doing it because it qualifies under the "Stupidity" part of Random Stupidity. Where to start? Water boarding is not pussy shit. Anyone who has had it done to them will back me up on that. In fact, they will all say that it is torture. Are my panties in a twist? I think not, but I do think that America has an opportunity to be a moral leader in a world of anarchy. When it comes to national security, I understand that there is a gray area in between torture and interrogation. Just imagine yourself or your friends and family being suspected of terrorism, and then tortured unjustly. I am not saying that all detainees are innocent, but if there are even a few, I would not be in favor of torture. The radical terrorists are willing to kill themselves, why do we think torture will yield anything but more hatred? This is something JM doesn't understand. I am starting to wonder what kind of Nazi blood orgy he took part in. His recent away messages and comments are indicative of an ongoing problem amongst whiny white republicans that think that they are about to be ethnically cleansed. Isn't that the pot calling the kettle a nigger (black)?

Giant Donut in the Sky, HELP US!


Defeat the Debt... Yea Right...

So I just saw this on CNBC...

- from Defeat the Debt

I understand the fear about our enormous national debt to China, but quit using the "Won't someone think of the children?" argument. It is trite and classless. Do you think those kids really care what their parents pay in taxes? Do you think they even know their future profession? If you think they do, I have some valuable commercial real estate in Northeast Ohio to sell you... Seriously, the debates about economic stimulus, healthcare, and energy have demonstrated my greatest fear about the USA. Our citizens are getting dumber by the day, and corporations/lobbyists are manipulating the masses through fear tactics.

Disagree with me? Go back to drinking your high fructose corn syrup and watching Michael Jackson E! News Coverage. I am sorry to have tried to make you think, I know it makes your head hurt.


Friday, August 28, 2009

Google Search is Racist!

Well, apparently Google is getting hammered with a search.

Via NowPublic.com, Google has been spammed with searches for "white people stole my car." The effort has been so big that the phrase has been showing up on Google Trends for a few days.

The term, when search, leads to sites that contain viruses and even more spam. According to Google Insights, the phrase began being "searched" August 19.

There are also reports that when people searched for "white people stole my car," Google returned with "Did You Mean: black people stole my car?" But I find that part to be a bit far-fetched and unlikely to have actually happened.

The file is most likely doctored, but this is just another weird thing to happen with Google. Remember the Chinese People search?

I still love you, Google.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Monday, August 24, 2009

Time for Monkey Magic!

After some intense research, I have found we are very low on random monkey videos here at Random Stupidity.


Pankun can also make noodles.

I hope you liked that.


Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

JM writes,

The VA(government run veterans healthcare) has a 52-page end-of-life planning document called the "Death Book” which just so happened to be reinstated by Obama recently. Page 21 from the “death book” is a questionnaire entitled “what makes your life worth living” Each question has a choice of If you checked 'can't answer now,' what information or people do you need to help you decide?" Obama is lying to you when he says there will be no death panels.


Okay... When did end of life planning become a bad thing? The leap that JM makes from "Can't Answer Now" to "Death Panels" is full of mayonnaise. Maybe those "people" you need to help you decide are your family and friends? Using "information" to make decisions is a bad thing? Sounds very Bushian to me. Whiny Republicans need to get the dick of the health care industry out of their mouths. Seriously, the misinformation being fed to the ignorant and angry town hall/birthers/teabaggers is hilarious. You people are broke, and you are letting billionaires tell you what they want you to think. All they care about is Earnings Per Share. These companies should be ashamed of themselves for abusing the same people that need reform. This is not about race, it is about class. For all the rabble-rousing at the Town Hall Meetings, have you heard a single solution from any of these protesters? Why defend the status quo when you are not receiving any benefit?

"Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."
- Albert Einstein

Giant Donut in the Sky help us!


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Worst Rated Player on Madden ‘07

Source: emailsfromcrazypeople.com
To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98 rating. You will receive this score because I will never give your blubbery ass a 99 in any category. Take that, pencil-dick. Go do Al Micheals or something. Boom.

It’s also pretty wonderful that my awareness rating was 59. You make it sound like I wake up in the morning, helplessly shit and piss myself, then lose three of my teeth before I discover that I am trying to eat a rock for breakfast. Fuck, John, I understand you saying that I am slow and lacking athleticism, but a rating like this pretty much labels me as retarded. Rod Hate Me Smart has a 52 in this category. Electronic Arts is saying that seven rating points separate me and the breathing embodiment of the perfect oxymoron. Rod Smart struggled to arrange words in sentence form. Cave men had better hold of the English language. The only actions that separate point values of ignorance at this embarrassing level are things like using your own toothbrush to wipe your ass. I basically edged out Rod by my lack of shit teeth. If I take a night school class, could you bump me up to a 60?

I guess I just can’t fathom the fact that I am the absolute worst player rated out of the entire NFL. Fuck, man, there are some shitty guys out there. Amongst everyone, I was rated the absolute worst.

I have received the impression that you feel that I am lacking in the agility category. I should consider a walk through my living room where I don’t crash through a wall or kick over furniture a resounding success. My agility rating on your game is 33. It makes it sound like I just topple over if I start walking too fast. Ted Washington is rated a 40 in agility. He is listed at 365 pounds. If Ted Washington tied a white lady up and made her wear a metal bikini, he’d look just like Jabba the Hut.

John, you are such a fucking dick. I also noticed that my kick return rating was a 0. I was rated a fucking zero? So you feel that I shouldn’t even receive a 10, or even a 5? You are pretty much saying that I couldn’t even fall forward on a ball kicked in my direction. I would just stand there and let the ball bounce off of my fucking face. Fuck that, John, I returned an onside kick 6 yards in 2002. You should have just slapped a – 4 on me and had the EA staff ambush me with paintball guns.

Finally, I would like to comment on an unlikely topic, my pass coverage ratings. I see that I am a better at man-to-man coverage (31) than zone (21). Fuck me sideways with a lunchbox. Where did these scores even come from? How much time is spent coming up with the pass coverage ratings of offensive lineman? Can I have that job? Let’s see here, I think that Orlando Pace would be slightly better at jumping intermediate routes than Larry Allen. While I’m at it, I can assign the passing ratings for offensive lineman as well. I can use mine as a guide.

I was rated with a throwing power of 17 and accuracy of 16. Orlando Pace has a 22 power and 17 accuracy rating. Did someone at EA really put time into figuring out that Orlando Pace edges out Ethan Albright in both throwing power and accuracy? I will challenge him any day. My horrible passer ratings are of greatest misfortune to my son, Red Beard Jr. The poor boy is not only hideously ugly and covered by freakishly large freckles. He also has to suffer through playing catch with me and my senile-elderly-woman-type passer ratings. A session of tossing the pigskin usually consists of me missing my son by thirty yards in sporadic directions. I led him in front of a fire truck once and my wife kicked my ass. This is because of my 76 toughness rating. Yes, a 76 is far better than the other ratings, but I’m a fucking lineman, damn it. NFL Linemen are considered to be synonymous with toughness. According to your game, I am a retarded, uncoordinated, pussy-ass fuckwad that can’t fall on a kickoff, throw, or spell. I am, however, slightly better at manning up on a receiver than dropping into zone coverage. You lose your mind more and more each year, old man.

Fuck you, John. Please expect to find red pubes in various meals you consume for the rest of your life. If you fuck with Ethan Albright, you call down the thunder.

Rot in Hell,

Ethan Albright


Wow, it must suck to be the worst rated player in Madden.
Thanks to Colleen for sending this story to us...


Saturday, August 01, 2009

Police chase 7-year-old driver

He really didn't want to go to Church...

Video Courtesy of KSL.com

I salute you, crazy Utah kid...


Thursday, July 30, 2009

Shake Weight (this just seems wrong)

So many things to say...

Random Stupidity, indeed...


Monday, July 20, 2009

Banned German Sprite AD (NSFW)

I repeat, this is NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

That is either great or terrible, but either way it sure is random and stupid.


Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Duck Song

RS 4 Sure.


You're Gonna Love My Nuts

Check out this remixed Slap Chop commercial.

Well played, DJ.


Thursday, July 16, 2009

Poor Oppressed White Men

You poor oppressed white men, I had no idea you had it so rough...

Pat Buchanan is the epitome of class and intelligence.


Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Texas Man Gets $23 Quadrillion Visa Bill

A technical glitch via Visa's billing department led Jon Seale of Trophy Club to receive a $23,148,855,308,184,500 credit card statement. The charge in question came from Wolfgang Puck's new restaurant, Five Sixty, which is expensive, but not that expensive. Seale said, "For that amount of money, I could actually own Wolfgang Puck himself."

Now that is stupid, Visa...


Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Bears (an new infinite series of reports)

So a woman in Cleveland spotted a bear...

Gotta love that cardboard cutout reenactment...

Here is some real bear on human action, with Chuck Norris!

What was that bear thinking?

Lastly, a Cougar vs Bear video...

Random Stupidity for sure,


Tuesday, June 30, 2009

RoboGeisha Trailer

"Though he’s been brewing his particular brand of madness for a good long while now it wasn’t until the arrival of Machine Girl that writer-director Noboru Iguchi really made an impression here in North America. But when he did, it was a big one - his fetishized story of a high school girl whose arm is replaced by a giant machine gun becoming a genuine viral phenomenon as it raced through the web. And how has Iguchi followed up the success of Machine Girl? With robotic geishas. Lots of them.

RoboGeisha is the latest collaboration between Iguchi and special effects man Yoshihiro Nishimura - himself the director of Tokyo Gore Police - and it bears all of the now-classic hallmarks of the duo: outrageous special effects, grotesquely hilarious gore and weapons where weapons just should not go. Machine Girl had the mechanized arm. Iguchi’s earlier Sukeban Boy had leg and breast cannons. Nishimura’s Tokyo Gore Police has the infamous penis cannon. RoboGeisha? This one boasts what the trailer graciously describes as hip-katanas, though the swords are actually placed considerably lower and more to the rear. Yes, Iguchi’s latest has ass-swords and women who aren’t afraid to use them. And that’s not even mentioning the giant robot-building, the transforming geisha-tank or the fried shrimp rammed into eye sockets.

The trailer for RoboGeisha is a virtual compendium of the bizarre and hilarious world of Iguchi, all of it narrated in bizarrely dry style. We’re very proud to have been given the world exclusive of the trailer here at Twitch, passed to us directly from production company TO Entertainment, and you can find it below the break!"
- source Twitch

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

JM: Michael Jackson was a great musician but ahhh...
he was a child molesting freak as well

PC: He was a great musician long before he became a child molesting freak, and he probably turned out the way he did through faults of society. Still a weirdo, but sold over 100 million copies of Thriller, there is something to be said of that. I am more bummed out about Billy Mays, he could sell anything.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Google's Dangerous Thirst for Power

Check out this story about Google drilling for geothermal energy...
With its many servers, Google devours electricity. And with search queries growing by 50%, it's only getting hungrier. The solution? Drill a two-mile-deep hole in the Earth, extracting geothermal energy and possibly destroying San Francisco with a terrible earthquake.

The AltaRock project north of San Francisco is hardly Google's first foray into electricity production; the company has hydroelectric projects scattered across the country.

But AltaRock is special, what with its capacity for triggering deadly seismic activities. With investors like Google, Kleiner Perkins and the federal government, it's no wonder the company has, according to the New York Times, denied an inconvenient truth: that a similar geothermal project in Basel, Switzerland "set off an earthquake, shaking and damaging buildings and terrifying many" in December 2006, according to Swiss government seismologists cited by the Times.

And, yes, it could happen here:

Seismologists have long known that human activities can trigger quakes, but they say the science is not developed enough to say for certain what will or will not set off a major temblor.

It's been easy for politicians to convince themselves that what's good for Google — a high-paying employer that doesn't make its money polluting — is good for their communities. That's an assumption they may have to shake off.
- Source Gawker

First San Fran, then the rest of the world. Google is out of control, and I for one like it. All praise be to Google, the one true internet.


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Buzz Aldrin is So Gangsta!

Behind the Scenes of Buzz Aldrin's Rocket Experience recording session with Snoop, Talib Kweli and Soulja Boy...

Here is the video...

This track is more gangsta than anything on Eminem's new CD...

Friday, June 19, 2009

Comfort Wipes, Innovative Asswiping

Keeping the toilet humor going, here is a REAL AD for a product called Comfort Wipe...

"The first improvement to toilet paper as we know it since the 1880s"
"The Comfort Wipe, allows you to maintain your dignity, while you maintain your personal hygiene."

God help us,


Thursday, June 18, 2009

Puppy Flushed Down Toilet

A 4 year old boy flushed his puppy down the toilet...

Random Stupidity, indeed...


Friday, June 12, 2009

Play Haley Off Keyboard Cat

This may be my favorite one of these...

Truly random stupidity.


Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Jeff Macke May Leave CNBC

After watching this, we should have seen it coming..

If you leave, you will be missed Jeff...
You crazy bastard.


Zack Attacks Fallon

Zack Morris on the Jimmy Fallon Show.
Random Stupidity, indeed.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Mr. Alan's and Mark have your back!

In this warcession we need deals like 1 for $29 or 2 for $50, 10 bucks!

This may be the best Ad campaign ever!

If you can't get credit at Norton Furniture, you can't get it anywhere...

Mark creeps me out...

This one has a surprise ending...

Mark takes his message to the streets...

And now an even worse AD:

I hope that was stupid and/or random enough,


Friday, May 22, 2009

Integriti's Special Invitation

Title: Your special invitation...

So i opened the mail yesterday and found something that belongs here. During the worst recession of our generation I recieve a special invitation from Visa. For a low low price of $495 per year I could own a patent pending carbon fiber black credit card! Are you kidding me Visa? Where is Ashton at? Oh, I know where he is, buried under billions in bad debt like the rest of us. Visa die.

- Integriti


Sounds like a sweet deal.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Who is Frank? Why is he in my Cream Pan?

So we got some Japanese dessert and realized that there was some dude named Frank in it. If you have any information regarding Frank's whereabouts, please contact us...

Or this will happen to you:

Or maybe even this...

Or in the worst case scenario, this...



Here is some more Walker Texas Ranger.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Technology Wars (3D Realms Death)

3D Realms Shuts Down

In what can only be described as the worst corporate failure since Lehman Brothers, 3D Realms has shut down operations. For 13 years I had been waiting for my favorite first person shooter Duke Nukem 3D's sequel. Duke Nukem Forever was given a WID release date. WID stood for when its done. Apparently WID now means never. The stock market has responded terribly. Nasdaq down 3%, S&P 500 struggling to stay above 900, and the Dow Jones selling off 150 points! The systematic risk of a 3D Realms failure and the ensuing instability in all of gaming has shook the global economy to its core. Oil shot up to $58 in what can only be described as a flight to quality. The US Treasury had to issue 30 year bonds at the highest yield since the current warcession hit. Desperate times call for desperate measures. We must bailout 3D Realms, or at the very least Duke Nukem Forever. Unless we want the deflationary spiral to continue, Congress and the Obama Administration must act swiftly and with no accountability. Do we need to revisit the days after the fall of Fannie, Freddie, AIG, Bear Stearns, Lehman, Washington Mutual, and Circuit City? Or do we do things differently? A world without Duke Nukem is a sad shell of existence. Public health care can be put on the back burner, but this cannot wait. We have never faced the kind of volatility that the unmet expected release of DNF will cause. Forget the S&P 500 going to 666 again, we would be heading below 500. Apple would collapse and Microsoft would start making pancakes instead of software. Do we really want to see this world? I sure as shit don't and I would ask all citizens to unite with me in demanding a bailout of 3D Realms to allow Duke Nukem Forever to be released. The government could take an ownership interest that would allow for capital appreciation to flow through to taxpayers. This is bigger than any other crisis we have faced.

God help us,

Productive Citizen

To soften the devastating blow of this news I have provided a remix of the Duke Nukem 3D Theme Song. Hopefully this will prevent some of the inevitable suicides.

Farewell Duke.mp3

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Ohio, at least we have LeBron James

First some videos about the bustling metropolis of Cleveland, Ohio

Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 1st Attempt

Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 2nd Attempt

Now some videos about the caped crusader of Cincinnati, Ohio. SHADOWHARE!

Cincinnati's Masked Super Hero: Part 1

Cincinnati's Masked Super Hero: Part 2

More info about Shadowhare available here.

View our comments for the copy of an online chat session with Shadowhare...

In other news LeBron James was named MVP of the NBA. He is the first Cavalier to receive this honor and he accepted the award at his highschool, St. Vincent-St. Mary, in Akron, Ohio. Go Cavs!

LeBron shows that even in a state with very little opportunity, a valuable person can be born and succeed. His work is not over. 12 more wins!


Thursday, April 30, 2009

Lost Jumping Shark Irony

So the feeling that I have wasted five years of my life watching Lost is now compounding exponentially on a weekly basis. Last episode the magic smoke monster comes out of freaking Egyptian sewer grate and now get hot exploding video game barrels. This weeks episode (14 I think) pushed me over the limit when Happy Days was actually referenced in the episode. Proof that the show has indeed jumped the shark. I am not the only one who think so.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

JM at it again with his "wisdom."

Check out the latest away message:

"The smallest minority is the INDIVIDUAL ...If you get caught up in filtering people as groups as many in Washington and the media do then you fundamentally can't believe in 'individual liberty' which is a cornerstone of our founding. This leads one to believe that the only option is the collective or socialism. This "group" mentality permeates every corner of academia and is destroying the very reason this great country has come so far in only 300 years."


So I think this is interesting. Group think is bad? I agree that blindly following what the majority thinks is wrong. People should know why they feel strongly about what they think. You shouldn't let Fox News spoon feed you talking points. But wait, does that mean JM thinks Fox News Junkies are socialists? This all or none philosophy is what I would call random stupidity. Individuals can think things that happen to be thought by other people. If a group of individuals believes the same thing, why are they socialists? Some individuals may agree with part of a group's philosophy and disagree with other parts. I agree that lumping people into groups could be damaging. I wonder if any group thinks what JM thinks? Using his own logic, would that make him a socialist?

Food for thought, and thought is definitely starving...


Friday, April 24, 2009

Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

So one of my friends is off the deep end.
Check out this ignorant away message...

"Obama, Pelosi, Reid, Feinstein, Barney Frank and any other lib or phony repube-ican deserves to be shot in the head for for what they are doing to this country"

- JM Doi April 24, 2009

Shot in the head? I hope the CIA is paying attention to GChat away messages. I don't know where to start with to explain just how wrong that away message is. I didn't agree with the Bush administration, but I never wished such horrible things upon them. This is America, and Obama is your President now. Don't like it? Get out. I am definitely not a fan of congress, but they are all we have. This blatant hatred is what leads to nutjobs actually trying to hurt our public officials. This is a lot like Palin leading "Kill Him" chants during the election. I am sure the people that sent "Obsession" to Muslim families across the US approve of JM's away message. If this is the direction of the conservative/religious right wing, I would gladly pay higher taxes so President Obama can get a pope mobile. No American should ever wish for public servants to be shot in the head. Provide your counterarguments to their policy, but blatant violent rage will not accomplish anything. I am ashamed to be a product of the same education system as this retard. Random stupidity? Probably just plain old stupidity.

Here is an excerpt of our conversation:

PC: your away message sucks
JM: they deserve it all of them ....tactical nuke washington
PC: you are nuts
JM: oh well, cant take it anymore with these bastards
PC: yea, violence and anger won't get you anywhere
JM: oh well, i cant help the way i feel

God help us,


Friday, April 10, 2009

Teabag the White House and Kanye's Sad

Huge Heap of Stupidity Today...

First Teabagging the White House:

Next, Kanye's illiterate blog post about South Park shitting all over him.

Download the Gay Fish Song here.
Video Here:

You morons are making it way too easy to blog about random stupidity. Thank you, Matt and Trey of South Park. You guys are my heros. Between this episode and Margaritaville, you have shown me that there is still a small bit of humanity that can appreciate intelligent art and satire. Although most of our generation is hooked on meth...

Stay tuned for new beats from AOT,


Monday, April 06, 2009

Cramer "Answers" My Email

A few weeks ago I sent an email to Jim Cramer about Sears (SHLD)

Gotta love his answer, Sears credit line is strong?

If I am right, I expect him to hand me over the show.

I would add some better sound buttons:
"It's garbage"
"Fuck You"
"I believe, strongly, that Gears of War will lead us out of the recession"
"Work Sucks Deek!"
"I would rather own Sears"

Now that show would rock...
Although it would have to air after 10 PM,
I am available Comedy Central...


Full Disclosure:
I own $2.50 and $20 strike puts on Sears in September 2009.

Friday, April 03, 2009

Bill O'Reilly Dance Remix

This one is not safe for work, but boy is it funny.

Well done, and randomly stupid...


Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Technology Wars: April Fool's Edition

Check out the latest innovation from Qualcomm...

Also, Kodak is joining in the fun.
Also, Red Faction's Ostrich Hammer

True random stupidity.
In other news, AOT has received
competing bids from Microsoft, Google and Apple.

April Fools,


Thursday, March 26, 2009

Post #100: The 5000 Calorie Burger

Source CNBC

In what is the epitome of stupidity, the Fifth Third Burger!

Fifth Third Burger "Nutritional" Value

Calories: 4889
Total Fat: 299g
Sat. Fat: 199g
Cholesterol: 744mg
Sodium: 10,887mg
Total Carbs: 354g
Protein: 198g

Congratulations to the Western Michigan Wildcats, who play at Fifth Third Bank Ballpark, for creating the most disgusting thing humans can eat. It's 5/3 lbs of beef with lettuce, tomato, salsa, sour cream, chili and Fritos on an eight-inch sesame seed bun. The team says it feeds one to four people and sells for $20, and if a person finishes the Fifth Third Burger in one sitting, the team will offer up a Fifth Third Burger T-shirt. Now you could either have 8 shares of Fifth Third Bank, or one of these burgers.

Either choice is probably a waste of money...

Wow, 100 posts... Here's to 100 more!


Tuesday, March 24, 2009

China Hates Google

China Blocks YouTube, Calls Tibet Beating Video 'Lies'
source CNBC

China on Tuesday accused supporters of the Dalai Lama of fabricating a video that appears to show police beating a Tibetan protester to death, while the video-sharing network YouTube said its service had been blocked for Chinese users.

The footage, which the official Xinhua News Agency said came from sources tied to the Dalai Lama's government-in-exile, was pieced together from different places, the agency said Tuesday, citing an unidentified official with China's Tibetan regional government.

t was not clear what video Xinhua was referring to or where it was available, but YouTube owner Google [GOOG 347.05 -1.55 (-0.44%) ] said that the file-sharing site had been blocked in China. Google spokesman Scott Rubin said in an e-mail to The Associated Press that the company was pushing to have service restored and that it could not comment on the Chinese government's reason for the block.

China occasionally blocks the file YouTube to prevent access to videos that criticize or shine an unflattering light on its Tibet policies.

The footage, which the Xinhua said came from sources tied to the Dalai Lama's government-in-exile, was pieced together from different places, the agency said Tuesday, citing an unidentified official with China's Tibetan regional government.

Few details were given, although the report said the footage purported to show a person named Tendar being beaten to death by police following a riot in Tibet's capital Lhasa on March 14 last year. Xinhua said the person in the footage was not in fact Tendar and wounds shown were fake.

"The Dalai Lama group is used to fabricating lies to deceive the international community and the aim of this video is to hide the truth of the March 14th riot," Xinhua quoted the official as saying.

The government did not directly address whether YouTube had been blocked. When asked about the matter, Foreign Ministry spokesman Qin Gang told reporters: "Many people have a false impression that the Chinese government fears the Internet. In fact it is just the opposite."

Users in Beijing said they were unable to access the site late Tuesday.

Security in Tibetan areas of China has been tightened in recent weeks as Beijing seeks to head off trouble related to sensitive anniversaries this month. March 14 marked the one-year anniversary of anti-government riots in Lhasa, Tibet's regional capital, while March 17 marked 50 years since the Dalai Lama escaped into exile in India after Chinese troops crushed a Tibetan uprising.

Armed police have been patrolling a Tibetan community in northwest China following reports that six people were arrested after a crowd of hundreds—including Buddhist monks—attacked a police station.


In our attempts to piss off China, here is the banned video...

Now we are not trying to be preachy, but it is apparent that the Chinese people need someone to show them the brighter side of the internet. In an attempt to lighten the mood, here is a randomly stupid game about boobs...
Lust for Bust

Click here to play this game

Changing the world, one boob at a time...


Thursday, March 19, 2009

Larry Kudlow Should Go To Jail

Larry Kudlow seen here on CNBC burning a dollar to demonstrate the effect of new Fed monetary policies:

This is a violation of Title 18, Section 333, of the United States Code. Title 18, Section 333, states: "Whoever mutilates, cuts, defaces, disfigures, or perforates, or unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt unfit to be reissued, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both."

I sent an email to CNBC asking for Mr. Kudlow to at least pay the $100 fine. How arrogant can one man be? To burn a dollar during the peak of the worst recession since the 1930s disgusts me in a way similar to our previous post about Jim Cramer. These CNBC elitists have no idea what the common man is going through in America. Better ways to use that burnt dollar bill? Give it to a homeless person, donate it to charity, even roll it up to enjoy some of the nose candy that Kudlow was once addicted to... CNBC is resorting to classless antics that I thought were only reserved for Code Pink or the Daily Show, but even those groups think this is retarded. Random Stupidity? Absolutely. Shame on you, Mr. Kudlow. Shame on you, CNBC. Someone who cries about illegal behavior on Wall Street and in Washington should have no problem adhering to the law. I hope you are prosecuted to the full extent of the law. 6 months in pound-me-in-the-ass prison might be the only way to show Mr. Kudlow what the value of a dollar really is.

I love my country, and its currency.


Friday, March 13, 2009

Jon Stewart vs Jim Cramer

Please watch Jon Stewart mop the floor with Jim Cramer...

Random Stupidity?
Corruption will continue to provide us with fantastic material.
BTW, Check out AOT's song
United Banks of America (52 Week Low Mix)
to get our take on the problems plaguing the banks.

May Gears bless us,
and the may Gears bless the
United Banks of America!


Saturday, February 21, 2009

United Banks of America (52WeekLowMix)


As you all know, we are in the worst recession since 1937.
The situation is dire.
Banks are trading for less than Starbucks.
AOT has rushed here to save the financial system.
Our plan will follow in the coming weeks.
We are still hammering out most of the details.
Let me assure you, this new plan is good.
It's just not done yet.
So we'll get back to you when it is done.
In the meantime, please listen to our new song:

United Banks of America (52 Week Low Mix)

We have provided an approximation of the lyrics:

I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United Banks of America
Fannie, Freddie, AIG
Where do they get the authority?
Wells Fargo, Bank of America
JP Morgan Stanley and Chase
WAMU, Countrywide, IndyMac
It's the Super Lehman Brothers
Riding on the back of the Meryll Lynch bull
Bear Stearns knocked the bull on its ass
shorting stocks like Douglas Kass
Whenever I make money, somebody loses money!
If I'm gonna make money, somebody loses money!

I want a million dollars
You want a million dollars
Let's spend a trillion dollars

Pelosi, Reed and Barney Frank
Love the Fed more than you and me
George Bush and Henry Paulson
spent all our currency
The former head of the New York Fed is now in charge of the IRS
Tim Geithner takes your taxes
but he doesn't pay his own
you don't need an RTC
all you need is AOT

Peaceful Resolution
Peaceful Revolution

a revolution without dancing is not a revolution worth having.

This ain't a bad bank
it's a citi bank
this aint a bad bank
it's a shitty bank
I only make money, if someone loses money!

We can only hope this will create a more open dialogue about what is really going on in the world economy.


Thursday, February 19, 2009


Give Us Back Our Fucking Money You Cunts, brought to you by dontpaniconline.com

At least the global financial shitstorm is allowing for some comedy...


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

China's Next Top Mistress

Just when we think we are done talking about China, a friend sends us this story...

Source: CNN

"BEIJING, China (CNN) -- A married Chinese businessman who could no longer afford five mistresses held a competition to decide which one to keep.

But the contest took a fatal turn when one of the women, eliminated for her looks, drove the man and the four other competitors off a cliff, Chinese media reported.

The spurned mistress died and the other passengers were injured, the reports said.

Police initially thought the car had plummeted off a mountain road in eastern China on December 6 by accident. Then they learned of the contest through a letter the dead woman had left behind, the Shanghai Daily newspaper said.

The 29-year-old woman, identified only as Yu, was a waitress when she met the businessman at a restaurant in the coastal city of Qingdao in 2000.

At the time, the businessman, identified only by his last name -- Fan -- was married and had four other mistresses, according to the Peninsula Metropolis Daily newspaper in Qingdao.

The women knew of one another, but none elected to break up with the man and give up their rent-free apartment and a 5,000 yuan ($730) monthly allowance, the reports said.

When the economy soured, the businessman apparently decided to let go of all but one mistress.

He staged a private talent show in May, without telling the women his intentions. An instructor from a local modeling agency judged the women on the way they looked, how they sang and how much alcohol they could hold, the Shanghai Daily said.

The judge knocked out Yu in the first round of the competition based on her looks. Angry, she decided to exact revenge by telling her lover and the four other women to accompany her on a sightseeing trip before she returned to her home province, the media reports said.

It was during the trip that Yu reportedly drove the car off the cliff.

Fan shut down his company after the crash and paid Yu's parents 580,000 yuan ($84,744) as compensation for her death.

The four other women left him, as did his wife when she learned of the affairs."

You just gotta love the three categories of the competition:

Looks: How can you have a mistress if she isn't hot?

Singing Ability: A mistress has to be able to frequent a karaoke bar and hold it down.

Alcohol Tolerance: Now this one is tricky, as most hot, Asian women are skinny and have problems metabolizing their booze. Still, a man has to have his priorities.

Now the last point I will make: Who gets in a car with a girl whose life you just ruined? Especially with the other women you rejected her to be with. Mr. Fan exhibited a fine example of random stupidity, which will be forever immortalized in our blog.

Kudos to China, we will keep eating this crazy shit up...


Sunday, February 15, 2009

Dan Deacon - Crystal Cat

From half of the guys that brought you Mister Ballonhands,
It's Crystal Cat!

Random Stupidity indeed,


Friday, February 13, 2009

I thought you were a rocket scientist!

Source Journal Times

"The thumbs down in the we-knew-it-had-to-happen-sooner-or-later category occurred this week 500 miles over Siberia: the first recorded space collision between two satellites. According to news reports, a working U.S. Iridium satellite on contract for commercial and Department of Defense work plowed into a one-ton defunct Soviet military satellite. The collision spewed space debris over 300 to 800 miles and could pose a danger to other satellites. Perhaps even more predictable than the crash was the response from the Soviets, who suggested NASA and Iridium could have avoided the crash by adjusting its orbit. “It could have been a computer failure or a human error,” a Soviet space expert said, “It also could be that they were only paying attention to smaller debris and ignoring the defunct satellites.” Why don’t you watch where you’re going with that heap of junk? No tickets were issued."

Gotta love those cold-blooded Russians, and wow, if you needed to know that Motorola was hurting there you go...


Happy Birthday to Me.

I am 28, and I gotta say that last year felt like 30 years... The older I get, the more responsibilities I face. I am grateful to the giant donut in the sky for giving me all the opportunity to succeed and live in a country with 24 hour drive thru hamburger joints. I thank the giant donut in the sky for all Cleveland sports, for the University of Michigan, for WRA, CCDS, and all other things that have formed who I am. I will continue to make electronic music as it is my religion to do so. Thank you giant donut for saving me in 2006 when I had my near fatal car accident.

And Thanks to all my readers, friends, family and Earl Divx...


Monday, February 09, 2009

China Copies 30 Rock Fireworks Episode (just like everything else)

Very sad loss of life and cool buildings. Not a very good place for a fireworks display... Next to one of the most famous buildings in China. Would it be even more insensitive of me to say that is looks just like Blade Runner? Well... it looks just like Blade Runner.