Poor Oppressed White Men

You poor oppressed white men, I had no idea you had it so rough...

Pat Buchanan is the epitome of class and intelligence.

PC

Texas Man Gets $23 Quadrillion Visa Bill

A technical glitch via Visa's billing department led Jon Seale of Trophy Club to receive a $23,148,855,308,184,500 credit card statement. The charge in question came from Wolfgang Puck's new restaurant, Five Sixty, which is expensive, but not that expensive. Seale said, "For that amount of money, I could actually own Wolfgang Puck himself."


Now that is stupid, Visa...

PC

Mr. Period's Forum Tips

Thanks to Penny Arcade, this is just fantastic...

PC

Fattening Up Our Tapeworms!

For some reason their song was in my head today...


PC

Sloppy Drunk LisaNova

Random and Stupid...


Thanks Lisa,

PC

Bears (an new infinite series of reports)

So a woman in Cleveland spotted a bear...

Gotta love that cardboard cutout reenactment...

Here is some real bear on human action, with Chuck Norris!

What was that bear thinking?

Lastly, a Cougar vs Bear video...


Random Stupidity for sure,

PC

RoboGeisha Trailer

"Though he’s been brewing his particular brand of madness for a good long while now it wasn’t until the arrival of Machine Girl that writer-director Noboru Iguchi really made an impression here in North America. But when he did, it was a big one - his fetishized story of a high school girl whose arm is replaced by a giant machine gun becoming a genuine viral phenomenon as it raced through the web. And how has Iguchi followed up the success of Machine Girl? With robotic geishas. Lots of them.

RoboGeisha is the latest collaboration between Iguchi and special effects man Yoshihiro Nishimura - himself the director of Tokyo Gore Police - and it bears all of the now-classic hallmarks of the duo: outrageous special effects, grotesquely hilarious gore and weapons where weapons just should not go. Machine Girl had the mechanized arm. Iguchi’s earlier Sukeban Boy had leg and breast cannons. Nishimura’s Tokyo Gore Police has the infamous penis cannon. RoboGeisha? This one boasts what the trailer graciously describes as hip-katanas, though the swords are actually placed considerably lower and more to the rear. Yes, Iguchi’s latest has ass-swords and women who aren’t afraid to use them. And that’s not even mentioning the giant robot-building, the transforming geisha-tank or the fried shrimp rammed into eye sockets.

The trailer for RoboGeisha is a virtual compendium of the bizarre and hilarious world of Iguchi, all of it narrated in bizarrely dry style. We’re very proud to have been given the world exclusive of the trailer here at Twitch, passed to us directly from production company TO Entertainment, and you can find it below the break!"
- source Twitch

Away Messages (infinite series of reports)

JM: Michael Jackson was a great musician but ahhh...
he was a child molesting freak as well

PC: He was a great musician long before he became a child molesting freak, and he probably turned out the way he did through faults of society. Still a weirdo, but sold over 100 million copies of Thriller, there is something to be said of that. I am more bummed out about Billy Mays, he could sell anything.

Google's Dangerous Thirst for Power

Check out this story about Google drilling for geothermal energy...
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With its many servers, Google devours electricity. And with search queries growing by 50%, it's only getting hungrier. The solution? Drill a two-mile-deep hole in the Earth, extracting geothermal energy and possibly destroying San Francisco with a terrible earthquake.

The AltaRock project north of San Francisco is hardly Google's first foray into electricity production; the company has hydroelectric projects scattered across the country.

But AltaRock is special, what with its capacity for triggering deadly seismic activities. With investors like Google, Kleiner Perkins and the federal government, it's no wonder the company has, according to the New York Times, denied an inconvenient truth: that a similar geothermal project in Basel, Switzerland "set off an earthquake, shaking and damaging buildings and terrifying many" in December 2006, according to Swiss government seismologists cited by the Times.

And, yes, it could happen here:

Seismologists have long known that human activities can trigger quakes, but they say the science is not developed enough to say for certain what will or will not set off a major temblor.

It's been easy for politicians to convince themselves that what's good for Google — a high-paying employer that doesn't make its money polluting — is good for their communities. That's an assumption they may have to shake off.
- Source Gawker
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First San Fran, then the rest of the world. Google is out of control, and I for one like it. All praise be to Google, the one true internet.

PC

Buzz Aldrin is So Gangsta!

Behind the Scenes of Buzz Aldrin's Rocket Experience recording session with Snoop, Talib Kweli and Soulja Boy...

Making of Buzz Aldrin's Rocket Experience w/ Snoop Dogg and Talib Kweli from Buzz Aldrin

Here is the video...

Buzz Aldrin's Rocket Experience from Buzz Aldrin

This track is more gangsta than anything on Eminem's new CD...
PC

Comfort Wipes, Innovative Asswiping

Keeping the toilet humor going, here is a REAL AD for a product called Comfort Wipe...

"The first improvement to toilet paper as we know it since the 1880s"
"The Comfort Wipe, allows you to maintain your dignity, while you maintain your personal hygiene."

God help us,

PC

Puppy Flushed Down Toilet

A 4 year old boy flushed his puppy down the toilet...



Random Stupidity, indeed...

PC

Play Haley Off Keyboard Cat

This may be my favorite one of these...



Truly random stupidity.

PC

Jeff Macke May Leave CNBC

After watching this, we should have seen it coming..


If you leave, you will be missed Jeff...
You crazy bastard.

PC

Zack Attacks Fallon

Zack Morris on the Jimmy Fallon Show.
Random Stupidity, indeed.

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Mr. Alan's and Mark have your back!

In this warcession we need deals like 1 for $29 or 2 for $50, 10 bucks!



This may be the best Ad campaign ever!



If you can't get credit at Norton Furniture, you can't get it anywhere...



Mark creeps me out...



This one has a surprise ending...



Mark takes his message to the streets...



And now an even worse AD:



I hope that was stupid and/or random enough,

PC

Integriti's Special Invitation

Title: Your special invitation...

So i opened the mail yesterday and found something that belongs here. During the worst recession of our generation I recieve a special invitation from Visa. For a low low price of $495 per year I could own a patent pending carbon fiber black credit card! Are you kidding me Visa? Where is Ashton at? Oh, I know where he is, buried under billions in bad debt like the rest of us. Visa die.

- Integriti


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Sounds like a sweet deal.

PC

Who is Frank? Why is he in my Cream Pan?

So we got some Japanese dessert and realized that there was some dude named Frank in it. If you have any information regarding Frank's whereabouts, please contact us...





Or this will happen to you:


Or maybe even this...


Or in the worst case scenario, this...


PC

PS

Here is some more Walker Texas Ranger.

Technology Wars (3D Realms Death)

3D Realms Shuts Down

In what can only be described as the worst corporate failure since Lehman Brothers, 3D Realms has shut down operations. For 13 years I had been waiting for my favorite first person shooter Duke Nukem 3D's sequel. Duke Nukem Forever was given a WID release date. WID stood for when its done. Apparently WID now means never. The stock market has responded terribly. Nasdaq down 3%, S&P 500 struggling to stay above 900, and the Dow Jones selling off 150 points! The systematic risk of a 3D Realms failure and the ensuing instability in all of gaming has shook the global economy to its core. Oil shot up to $58 in what can only be described as a flight to quality. The US Treasury had to issue 30 year bonds at the highest yield since the current warcession hit. Desperate times call for desperate measures. We must bailout 3D Realms, or at the very least Duke Nukem Forever. Unless we want the deflationary spiral to continue, Congress and the Obama Administration must act swiftly and with no accountability. Do we need to revisit the days after the fall of Fannie, Freddie, AIG, Bear Stearns, Lehman, Washington Mutual, and Circuit City? Or do we do things differently? A world without Duke Nukem is a sad shell of existence. Public health care can be put on the back burner, but this cannot wait. We have never faced the kind of volatility that the unmet expected release of DNF will cause. Forget the S&P 500 going to 666 again, we would be heading below 500. Apple would collapse and Microsoft would start making pancakes instead of software. Do we really want to see this world? I sure as shit don't and I would ask all citizens to unite with me in demanding a bailout of 3D Realms to allow Duke Nukem Forever to be released. The government could take an ownership interest that would allow for capital appreciation to flow through to taxpayers. This is bigger than any other crisis we have faced.

God help us,

Productive Citizen

To soften the devastating blow of this news I have provided a remix of the Duke Nukem 3D Theme Song. Hopefully this will prevent some of the inevitable suicides.

Farewell Duke.mp3

Ohio, at least we have LeBron James

First some videos about the bustling metropolis of Cleveland, Ohio

Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 1st Attempt


Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video: 2nd Attempt


Now some videos about the caped crusader of Cincinnati, Ohio. SHADOWHARE!


Cincinnati's Masked Super Hero: Part 1


Cincinnati's Masked Super Hero: Part 2


More info about Shadowhare available here.
View our comments for the copy of an online chat session with Shadowhare...

In other news LeBron James was named MVP of the NBA. He is the first Cavalier to receive this honor and he accepted the award at his highschool, St. Vincent-St. Mary, in Akron, Ohio. Go Cavs!

LeBron shows that even in a state with very little opportunity, a valuable person can be born and succeed. His work is not over. 12 more wins!

PC