Monday, January 12, 2009

Technology Wars: The CES Edition

So I got back from CES 2009 in Las Vegas yesterday, and I thought I would share my impressions of the show with you guys. I will start with the good stuff:

1. Slingbox - this was the most impressive booth at the show, not because they spent a lot like Sony's dumbasses, but the product has really evolved. My personal favorite was slingbox for iPhone, coming soon. They were streaming TV to phones from San Fransisco. Pretty damn neat. They are a subsidiary of Echostar (symbol SATS).


2. Qualcomm (Flo TV) - Another part of the same trend as Slingbox. Qualcomm is intriguing as they own patents on chipsets that allow cellphones to stream TV. They were also players when it came to the spectrum auction last year. Lastly Flo TV has created a partnership with some nice content providers (ESPN, CNBC, Viacom, Fox, and CBS). Qualcomm's stock symbol is QCOM.


3. OLED from Sony and LG - OLED is by far the most innovative product at the show, even though the same could be said of last year's show. Flexible OLED by Sony and insanely thin TVs from LG could show us the future of screen technology, once it isn't ass expensive. I offered top dollar for a few of these LG TVs. Also LG had a Dick Tracy kind of watch that was almost as annoyingly stupid as a netbook, but at least it was innovative I guess? Sony trades with the symbol SNE and LG as LPL here in the US. Although I wouldn't buy those stocks with your money.


4. Windows 7 - Just as I started thinking I want a Mac, Steve Ballmer stops doing lines long enough to announce a new operating system. In an attempt to stop the bleeding from Vista, Windows has become even more Mac-like. The taskbar has been changed to aide productivity. A touch interface to the operating system seems gimicky at first, but after a solid demonstration at the booth I gotta say I didn't hate it. Think Vista + iPhone - all that security nonsense. Are you sure you want to think that? Sure? Really? Okay. Wait, Are you sure? Yea. Microsoft trades as MSFT in the US.


5. HDMI - This is the only place anywhere in technology that I see a solid model for growth and profitability. The new innovation is that they are going to use the new HDMI cables for transmission on network data. The proprietary nature of the standard will make it hard for DVD Jon or whatever other hackers to rip off this consortium of TV makers, content providers, and computer makers. Preventing piracy could help the companies, unless the consumer is dead. I wish HDMI was publicly traded but it is an organization of companies that I would not recommend investing with.

6. Alternative Energy (Green) - So I found some nuggets of growth in between Samsung and Microsoft's booths. Solar, Wind, Battery, and Power strip technologies are one of the only areas where I found innovation and the potential for earnings growth. Seeing as President Barry is a fan of saving the environment, resistance will be futile. Get on the bandwagon, get yourself some thinfilm, some windpower and a nice powerstrip that limits vampire currents. If you want to play these spaces, TAN is the solar ETF and FAN is the wind ETF.

Now for the worst themes of the show...

1. Netbooks - You may have heard of these ultramobile PCs. Where to start with why I hate them? From an end-user standpoint, I can't type on the damn things, they are too small for my hands. The hardware in these things tend to be worse than the laptop that I already own. They run XP, which is actually a good thing. From the investor standpoint, I simply hate the direction Sony, Toshiba, HP, and whoever else is going with these devices. Instead of releasing an innovative high price product, these companies are shifting towards low profit margin, already obsolete computers that are supposed to appeal to the newly thrifty US consumer. There is a flaw in their logic, that the consumer will buy their crap. They all hope to make back the revenues in volume of sales, but if the US consumer is truly dead, you better believe that they are not going to waste money on these pieces of shit. So let's just let these companies keep there fingers crossed as netbooks become more of a fad than swatches or pogs.

2. 3D - How many times does 3D have to fail before we take it out back and shoot it in the head? Sony and other TV makers once again seems to be in love with planned obsolescence. It is 2009, where it the Hologram? I can see how movie theaters will benefit from this new technologies, but who really wants a 3D TV in their home? Holograms, please!

3. Broadband TV - I am torn on this topic. I feel that we need sinergy between all media, but here in the US our bandwidth sucks. Which leads me to why this internet TV kerfluffle is too early. Sure sure, in Japan these things probably rule. They have way faster internet. I cannot get blindly behind this technology until we figure out a plausible way to make the US rank in the top 5 in bandwidth speeds. The reason this is number 3, is that it is innovative although implausible here in the states. PS, Yahoo, screw your widgets.

4. Massage chairs - There were so many damn booths with these chairs, last year Audio Technica had actual masseuses, this year NADA. Qualcomm had a nice setup this year with real massages but in general, there was way too much furniture at the show. When did furniture become consumer electronics? Next year's CES may as well be held at an Ikea.

5. Less boothbabes - In what is probably the most tragic story of the show, there were probably 80% less boothbabes at the show! Who knows how this will effect Los Angeles area shops in the next quarter, but this is just a further sign that tech companies are afraid of the continuing downturn. When asked about the downturn, this boothbabe said that tax cuts and supply-side economics will prove to be more effective than quantitative easing. Ha ha, actually she just stood there and looked pretty.

6. Vegas is hurting - And now for my take on the city of Las Vegas and how it has shown me that we are nowhere near the end of the downturn. All throughout the city, there are unfinished projects by MGM and Las Vegas Sands, I must give credit to Wynn for finishing Encore. A cabbie, formerly a casino worker, told me that 100,000 people showed up to apply for the 10,000 new jobs at Encore. The town is filthy, and has a scent of failure, literally. Unemployment has gone up to 9% from its low of 0.3%! At the show, it was noticeable in the lack of attendance. My foot didn't get stepped on once, and I didn't even catch a waft of that trade show fat tech nerd body odor that I have become so accustomed to. Back to the economy, how can there be a turnaround with no bottom in real estate or unemployment? I think everyone should procede with caution in the stock market as well as with your own careers. If you have a job, keep it. If not, go back to school. Can't go back to school? It seems like whoring yourself is not as profitable as it used to be. Most whores in Vegas were haggling. Truly a recession.

Techno Sucks,
PC

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

This Just In: 2008 Sucked

Next year is going to have to suck really hard to beat this year.

Happy New Year to all three of my readers...


PC

PS

I think there are more than three of you, but you guys catch my drift.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Apple Inc. Firing Practices Illustrated

Check out this story (source softpedia.com)

In Apple's history of employments and layoffs, one may be reluctant to believe that the company bearing the motto "Think different" would fire one of its staffers for doing just that.

Meet Brent Barlow, a former software analyst and beta-tester at Apple. In 1999, Apple felt it was necessary to let him go because he "consistently failed to adhere to the normal standards of conduct and daily routines expected of employees of Apple Computer," according to a company spokesperson.

Listening to Bob Dylan on his headphones while testing software, and taking barefoot walks around the Apple campus to" feel more connected to the creative energy of others" were among his strange activities around the office. For one reason or another, Dylan also used to hang his mountain bike above his workstation.

"It's okay to think outside the box," Avie Tevanian, Apple senior vice-president of software engineering, said. "In fact, we very much encourage that sort of thing, here at Apple. But in Mr. Barlow's case, he went just a bit too far."

First written up in September 1996, Barlow was cited for "unprofessional and inappropriate personal modifications to his workspace." Those included taped-up pictures of Mahatma Gandhi, Albert Einstein, and R. Buckminster Fuller, a painted red question mark on the side of his monitor, a non-approved wallpaper (on his Mac) of Jim Henson, and more. Reportedly, Barlow went as far as replacing his computer's trademarked startup sound with a snippet of the John Lennon song "Imagine."

"I like to explore problems from unusual angles," Barlow explained, as he was cleaning out the desk he had been working at for four years. "And being in a free-form environment of my own creation really helps me get in the right frame of mind." The last straw was when his team supervisor caught him doing a headstand, reports revealed. The write-up for this incident was Barlow's last blow.

"I was stuck on this bug I discovered in the new Mac OS X system software that Apple's developing. No matter what I tried, nothing worked," Barlow revealed. "So I thought to myself, what I need to do is turn my whole approach to this problem upside-down. And what better way to do that than by standing on your head?"

Apple director of corporate communications, Michael Landau, further emphasized that the company had no choice but to let him go. "Of course, we want our employees to be individuals and 'do their own thing,' so to speak," Landau stated at the time. "But Mr. Barlow's behavior consistently crossed the line. If he wants to think that different, he can do it on his own time."

Throughout the years, Apple has developed a manual outlining the company's rules and regulations regarding individualism, in an effort to prevent "excessive iconoclasm." In accordance with those rules, staffers were allowed activities such as:

- removing shoes when seated or within four feet of a desk;
- whistling when given prior written permission from a direct supervisor;
- kicking puddles, provided the kicking is conducted during one's lunch hour and the puddle is one of the 35 on the Apple campus specifically designated for such a purpose.

Staffers are moreover prohibited to sing out loud, fly kites, and catch butterflies.


---------------------------------------------
In other news, multiple news agencies have been added to my shit list for knocking down AAPL with rumors of Steve Jobs' health, death, monkey pox, battles with mutant monsters in space, etc.

Source Gizmodo.com
"Steves health is rapidly declining. Apple is choosing to remove the hype factor strategically vs letting the hype destroy apple when the inevitable news comes later this spring."



As you can see the shorts knocked AAPL down from 88 and change to 84 and change in about 5 minutes. This kind of market manipulation has been prevalent all year in this stock. Are you an AAPL shareholder? If so, contact Investor Relations at

Phone: (408) 974-3123
Fax: (408) 974-2113
Email: investor_relations@apple.com

I am astonished at the lack of outrage in this stock market. Apathy will lead to further pain, and fraud if we don't stand up and do something. I hope you will join me in bringing integrity, honor and transparency to our failing capital markets.

Peace,

PC

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Work Still Sucks Deek

This excerpt from a paper by a dear friend “Jam Hole” in Mrs. Bastone’s English class sums everything up pretty well.

“Another problem I experienced with this poem is the amount of work involved with properly annotating the text-or any form of work for that matter. I fully believe and abide by the concept of not doing any work-at all. While visiting Puerto Rico, a fool told me that a good and steadfast work ethic will prove to have many benefactors. I then proceeded to kick him in the groin and threaten his dog, Willis. To make a long and cumbersome story short, work sux. Don't ever be misled into thinking a strong work ethic will pay the electricity bills-it won't. The lives of the ignorant are enhanced by the high amounts of work they perform. It disgraces me. Thank you. God will see us through this epidemic.”

What was true in 1999 is even more true in 2008.

PC

Monday, December 22, 2008

Just in time for Christmas, It's Snuggie!

www.getsnuggie.com



The perfect recession gift, we can all use a snuggie when we are huddled around a burning garbage can eating beans and dog food.

Happy Holidays,

PC

Thursday, December 18, 2008

It's a beautiful day

FOR CANCER



Wear some sunscreen, people.

PC

Monday, December 15, 2008

Shoes thrown at President Bush

In his farewell visit to Iraq, the President of these United States had a shoe thrown at him. Maybe the Iraqi press core should take their shoes off before any press conferences...



Happy Holidays,

PC

Friday, December 05, 2008

Away Messages (yet another report)

Here is more away message stupidity from my buddylist:

How about we stop giving bailouts and start giving less Government regulation that strangles America.

Less regulation got us here. We have already started the process of bailing out various industries within our economy. To stop now would be the most irresponsible action available. Today we got a jobs report that said we lost 533,000 jobs in November of 2008. We have been in a recession since December 2007. To let the Big 3 auto companies fail would cause unemployment to skyrocket. 2.5 million jobs and people would be affected by a failure of the industry. Billions of dollars of auto loan debt would be written down, leading to even further problems in the financial sector. It is easy to drop a smarmy one liner about big government, but if you open your eyes, mind and ears, you will realize how much of a jackass you are in emulating Hoover and Shelby.

Senator Shelby wants to kill Detroit, I want to save the world.

PC

Thursday, December 04, 2008

Away Messages (an infinite series of reports)

So today, the automakers are begging for a bailout/bridge loan.

I had the following away message:

Senator Shelby for President, of REAL AMERICA

Someone on my buddylist put this up shortly after:

Senator Shelby and the flat tax...I am all for it.

Now, the flat tax is one thing, but to think that an ignorant douche like Shelby knows anything about financial crises is another completely false belief. Among the bills sponsored by Shelby over the years have been bills to make English the sole language of the federal government. (source wikipedia) Now, does anyone think that is a useful way to spend your time in congress? He was also a leader in the opposition to the TARP, in the name of free markets. If it was up to him we would be eating dog food by now (Alpo is the meatiest one FYI). My point to anyone who thinks the flat tax is fair, don't you think billionaires should pay more than a guy who makes 20 grand a year? I propose leaving all rates the same for individuals, eliminating the corporate tax, and creating a new billionaire bracket. If billionaires try to move to tax advantaged countries, we can assess a patriot penalty tax.

Food for thought,

My friend will continue to provide me with stupid away messages that I can then poke holes through.

PC

Monday, December 01, 2008

Away Messages (an infinte series of reports)

These messages were written by people on my buddy list.

"International court to punish nations that fail to prevent global warming"?? The carbon cap and trade and Now this? WAKE UP...The words "man made Global warming" created by politicians has nothing to do with the planet it has to do with taxation of epic proportions..It's funny how every top scientist who has proven that global warming has nothing to do with humans is persecuted.

So, apparently he doesn't think we caused this. I would just like to point out two things:

The Cuyahoga River caught fire in 1936 and continued in the 1960s.

VIDEO

Lake Erie is receding.

It is apparent that humans caused the Cuyahoga River to catch fire. Now, I am not saying that we caused the Great Lakes to recede, but if you look at the evidence, with an open and nonpartisan mind, you can see a correlation if not a pure connection.

PC

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Nice and Stupid, Like I Like IT.



Also here is someone eating a burrito at 70 mph.



Have a nice Thanksgiving people,

PC

Monday, November 24, 2008

Bjork teaches us all about TVs



I don't think I have to explain why this is random stupidity.

Go Bjork,

PC

Friday, October 03, 2008

Steve Jobs not dead, but the free market is.



The following fake story was reported to cnn.com by some random douchebag:

"Steve Jobs was rushed to the ER just a few hours ago after suffering a major heart attack. I have an insider who tells me that paramedics were called after Steve claimed to be suffering from severe chest pains and shortness of breath. My source has opted to remain anonymous, but he is quite reliable. I haven't seen anything about this anywhere else yet, and as of right now, I have no further information, so I thought this would be a good place to start. If anyone else has more information, please share it."

http://www.ireport.com/docs/DOC-102841

This is absurd. Why should we have any faith in this market? CNN, you have lost my business. I have contacted Apple, CNN, and the SEC regarding this. Free Market my ass! Between this, UAUA trading at .01, and Google why should I be in the market?

Monday, June 30, 2008

Shaq raps, but he is no Biggie...

At least Kobe made it to the finals this year...


Randomly stupid indeed...

PC

Thursday, June 05, 2008

More Randomly Stupid Spam

This was recently received by my friend:

ntests friday nights gay movie theatre washington dc hairy under arms feeling of strangulation in leg transexuals stripping nude free nude child girl pics free horse fucking chick move athens pee drink cherokke porn beur porno 3d vagina oregon nude photos what's new in young adult literature sucking cock dry boston lingerie bra pantie underpants underware underwear undies plump black anal ass it like up woman petite escort los angeles fucking my new step sister stories brokeback mountian video sex scene girl fucking horse dog wife spanking club middle east escort rubber tube for crafts adult club columbia missouri osama bin penis popular club the vintage book zoo media group toronto first dildo in ass free nude woman live advanced breast cancer pictures darlene marrow nude alabama bans sex toys thai naked gagged girl helpless little black gang bang facial very matgure porn ancient slut sperm donor siblings registry discovery of rubber he put his penis in her breast enlargment before and after rogue strip club la back bare gay grab gw porn robin naked pictures fanncy data on a hard disk conductive heat shape het factor free juicy porn movies male models asian gay nude male witches foot cum video 1st degree sexual assault min punishment james franco gay polythene girl old nasty amateur granny fatties photo nude exwife poppy anal mri breast lesions hentai animal fucked breast milk and pregant boys sex moviees paige lesbian memoirs of a geisha film gay escort review site tit free pix specialty underwear made for men mom interracial soccer channel custom printed strip indy blue crew girl girl slovakia gay feet fuck pictures of simpsons naked free chat rooms no sexual content girl fingering her vigina porn videos of girls loitas nude teens nude pic of jake gyllenhaal hugh fucking tites nip tuck jennifer odell sex scenes nude sexy coeds vaginal electro torture galleries gal

Quality spam,

PC

Friday, May 23, 2008

Kentucky doesn't like Black People...

In yet another display of intelligence, the citizens of Kentucky have had their voices heard. Albeit illiterate, racist, and ignorant hate speech, I recommend watching this Al Jazeera piece:


This is why I struggle everyday with voting Nader or Obama, I feel that a minority candidate can't win because there are still a lot of racists (overt and covert) that will support McCain in November.

Oh well, 100 years of war doesn't sound that bad.

PC

Sorry DJs, no more Turntablism. Now Giant iPhonetables.

Check out ATTIGO by Scott Hobbs:

Final Product // ATTIGO TT from Scott Hobbs on Vimeo.

I love technology,

PC

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The New East vs West Coast Rap War

In this corner, Snoop:



And in the other more white and conservative corner, Bill O'Reilly:


Gotta love Bill O'Reilly making fun of the word ghetto...

Truly Randomly Stupid,

PC

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Army of Techno receives takeover bid from Google

Dear readers/listeners,

Today at 9:15 AM Central time, we received a takeover bid from Google. They are offering $10,000 a share. They believe that the Productive Citizen brand is worth a lot, they also feel that AOTV and armyoftechno.com are intellectual properties that could be worth way more than they are paying. AOT and PC will continue to make music, videos, and write blogs. This offer is to shareholders of record as of 1/1/08 so don't try to pile into our company now. The Board of Directors will meet later tonight to discuss our future. Who knows? This could be the beginning of a bidding war. Eat that Yahoo!

Sincerely,

Productive Citizen
(google's bitch)